The Beauty of it All
by HalleyComet07
Summary: This is a different story line than the game. Told from Cousland pov but she's not a grey warden. It takes place after the archdemon is slain and Alistair has been crowned King of Ferelden.
1. Chapter 1

**ALTERNATE STORYLINE—**What if the Couslands had lived? What if their son/daughter were never recruited into the Grey Wardens? This story takes place after the slaying of the Archdemon and after Alistair has been crowned. My storyline is a little different as you will see.

Chapter 1

Kailyn laid down in her bed after a pretty strenuous day of training with her father. She felt that she was doing well, but her father never let her know. He was always pushing, and pushing her to do better. Bryce Cousland was never one to give praise freely; but she still felt she was owed something. She thought of her mother; who was no help. She felt that because Kailyn was a Cousland and a Ferelden noble that her daughter needn't dabble in such things as fighting. Halley felt that her daughter needed to spend her time focusing on being a suitable wife and that especially meant remaining chase. She was always stressing to Kailyn the importance of marrying another noble and how it was expected of her to be supportive of her future husband. Her mother did not want a life of fighting and death for her daughter. What mother would?

Kailyn and her mother had argued several times over this. Her daughter did not wish to be put on display as some trophy wife. She wanted to get her hands dirty; to make a difference in the world. She wouldn't be able to do that if she were arm candy for a stuck up nobleman.

At least her father agreed with her.

Bryce certainly did not want a life of fighting and death for his only daughter either. However, he loved her so much he felt he couldn't deny her anything. Deep down, he knew that his daughter was destined for greater things. He was always training her brother Fergus and he found it hard to refuse one child a wish while granting that same wish to the other child. It's not as if he didn't have an heir. Fergus and his wife, Rayne lived happily in the Highever palace and they had a small boy of their own. Luckily for Bryce, their boy, Riley was anxious to inherit the title and looked forward to learning how to rule on a daily basis. Thank the Maker for small favors.

As Kailyn slowly drifted off to sleep she thought about how her best friend, Aiden, was due to arrive at the Cousland estate tomorrow. Aiden's and Kailyn's parents were trying desperately to push them together. And who knows? Maybe it will work out. She has always thought of Aiden as attractive but had never really delved into anything more than that. Perhaps tomorrow would be the day.

XxxXxXx

Kailyn awoke the next day to her chamber maid softly calling her name.

"Arianne. It's too early to wake up. I need my beauty sleep." she whined to her maid.

"Kailyn, it is nearly lunchtime and your friend Aiden is already here. He has asked several times if you are awake yet and seemed eager to meet with you. Your mother is having a picnic prepared for you two and you can enjoy it out by the meadow."

Kailyn hadn't realized how late it was and was excited to be meeting her friend again after so long. They had kept in touch through letters, but hadn't seen each other in over two years.

"Oh! You shouldn't have let me sleep so late! It's been so long since I've seen Aiden I wanted to be the first Cousland he saw when he arrived."

The elven maid looked at the young woman she had come to care for and just smiled. She had always hoped that the two of them would end up together. After all, he was the son of a very powerful arl. Second only to Bryce.

Kailyn dashed up out of bed and was so excited to get dressed she just ended up whirling around in circles. Arianne stopped and smiled at her.

"Here. Why don't I lay out the clothes for you? I have a few ideas for what you should wear after such a long time between seeing each other."

Kailyn smiled gratefully but was confused as to why she was so anxious to meet her friend. Obviously she was excited to see him because she hadn't seen him in years; but this was different. She felt a need to impress him. As if she needed to look her best. It was ridiculous because deep down she knew that this was the same boy who rolled around in mud puddles with her as a child. He didn't care what she looked like and she knew it. So why was she filled with anxiety every time her thoughts turned to him?

Arianne seemed to read her mind.

"Perhaps you have grown to care for Aiden more than you realize?" The maid said as she helped her lady into a very tight-fitting corset.

As soon as Kailyn was able to exhale she replied, "Maybe. I have always thought of him as attractive; but I never really felt the need to pursue our relationship any further."

"Well then maybe you should make that plunge today m'lady."

The bodice was finally situated on her torso and tied. Arianne stepped to the wardrobe and pulled out a dress that Kailyn had never seen before. It was all black and immediately she fell in love with it.

"OH ARIANNE! When did you get _this_?" The lady exclaimed when she laid eyes on it.

"Its a surprise I've had planned since I first heard that Aiden was going to be visiting. I had it custom made for you because I know you are a little eccentric when it comes to your fashion sense."

The elf helped her lady slide on the dress and looked at her in awe. Kailyn was so beautiful. The dress hugged her in all the right places. The low cut neckline showed off her perfect cleavage without showing too much because it was lined with black lace. The length of the dress went all the way down to her toes hugging her hips to reveal the best parts of her figure. There was a slit on the right side that traveled up to her mid-thigh. Kailyn wasn't sure what it was made of, but the shiny material certainly complimented her in every way.

"Its made of Orlesian silk." The maid responded as if once again to read her mind.

"OH THANK YOU! Thank you so much Arainne! It's perfect!" The young lady rejoiced and held her maid in a tight hug.

"Now we need to focus on this hair of yours." Arianne said playfully as she grabbed her lady's brush. "The normal hairstyle, or something special for this special occasion?"

"Of course something different!" Kailyn exclaimed as she tried her best to sit still for the maid. Her body was literally shivering in anticipation of seeing her friend again. However, she knew that before she could enjoy her lunch with Aiden she would need to see her mother and father.

XxxXxXx

Once she was fully dressed Kailyn darted out of her room and dashed down the hall to her father's study. She knew he would be here; going over his official duties as a Teryn.

"Good afternoon father. I just wanted to let you know that I am officially awake and anxiously awaiting my lunch with Aiden." She said with a smile bouncing up and down on her tip toes.

"Of course you are girl! I know that you two have been close for most of your lives. I only wish his parents had come with him so that your mother and I would have entertainment as well. Arl Gourn is not an easy man to come by these days. He busies himself with the politics of the Free Marches. I only wish he could have the sense to attend to his own country's need before aiding another." Bryce looked at his daughter and smiled. "I'm rambling about things you don't care about again, aren't I?"

Kailyn looked up at her father and his jovial expression took her out of her haze. She thought for a second and was pretty sure she knew what he had just said. "Yes father. I will continue my studies with Ursine my tutor." Bryce Cousland just shook his head. "I'm glad to hear that. Now go and enjoy your lunch dear."

Kailyn suddenly became very giddy as she made her way down the hall and out of the side door. _"Why am I feeling this way? This is my longest lifetime friend and we have never been anything more. Never __wanted to be anything more._"She thought to herself. As the lady made her way down to the meadow she strolled by a pear tree and stopped to pick the ripest and juiciest one she could find. When she took a bite something caught her eye and she looked up. The meadow was just ahead and she could see in the distance the body of a young man sitting in her favorite spot. She smiled to herself. _"Won't be long now." _Kailyn thought.

Suddenly the body stood up and she could see him wave. She took a few more bites of the pear and waved back. When she reached Aiden there was hardly anything left of the pear but the core. "You probably have sticky hands now," the young man commented joking with his friend. "Yeah, well, its never bothered me before and I don't think its going to now." Kailyn said she bumped him with her hip playfully. "I know that we are about to each lunch but I couldn't help myself. This pear was sitting in that tree just waiting to be picked. The temptation was much too strong to resist."

"But you know that pears are my favorite fruit Kail. I'm offended that you didn't bring me one as well." Aiden was teasing her again.

"I know; but it would so uncharacteristically nice of me to bring you one. I didn't want you to think that I had gone off the deep end from all our time spent away from each other." She smiled as she said this; knowing that he thought she was one of the most kindest and caring person he had ever met.

"Yes. And that time the bees were chasing us all around you threw me into the lake because it was an excuse to push me?" He asked her rhetorically.

Kailyn blushed at this but made no comment.

"I thought so." Aiden said with a smile.

There was already a blanket laid out on the picnic site but the food was still in the tan colored woven basket.

"Let us get to eating before either of us starves to death." said Aiden as he opened to basket to see what was inside. He began spreading it all out so that they could pick what they wanted to eat. He pulled out bread, honey, cookies, and some rabbit that looked like it has been smoked. "Well this certainly isn't the healthiest of lunches." Aiden commented. He made Kailyn a plate first and set it in front of her and quickly began working on his.

As they ate they talked. They shared with each other what had been going on in their lives since they last saw each other and then the discussion began heading to the topic of the Blight.

"I heard that the new King was the one who killed the dragon." Kailyn said. Aiden shook his head at this. "I heard it was his close friend. The elf. I think his name was Valorn or something like that."

"Whoever it was they were certainly brave. My father wants me to go to the party that the king is hosting in celebration of ending the blight. It's really a party where the king is supposed to pick out his future bride. I have always thought that was barbaric. Kings and Queens hardly ever get to marry for love. It's almost always a political marriage or one of convenience. No wonder they sometimes have mistresses."

"Like Maric did?" Aiden asked with his eyebrow raised. "Just because you are in a loveless marriage doesn't mean that you have the right to seek out the company of another. Kings and Queens need to lead their country by example. It's certainly not okay for everyone else to go galavanting around with mistresses; so why would it be okay for the royalty? Just because of their title? No, that's not right." Aiden finished his statement with his head held high.

"I never knew you felt so strongly about that Aiden. I think you can step off your soap box now." She teased. Aiden fell back into a jovial mood as they finished up their lunch. He packed everything back in the basket ready to be picked up when they were ready to leave. He left the blanket out, however, for them to sit on.

Kailyn was staring out into the meadow deep in thought. Aiden turned and looked at her and her beauty caught him off guard. She was stunning and he wondered to himself why hadn't he noticed before. Actually, he didn't even realize what she was wearing. The dress put thoughts into his mind that shouldn't be there; and her hair slightly dancing in the soft breeze played upon her face. She had always hated her red hair, but he adored it. He noticed that it was up like normal but done differently. Instead of the boring bun she always wore it in her hair was an intricate puzzle of braids and beads pulled tightly together. It complimented her face just perfectly. He looked at her bright emerald green eyes. He remembered that they always turned a shade darker when she was upset or angry. Aiden was glad that they were the normal, bright shiny green that they should be. Suddenly his eyes fell below her face to her collar bone. He realized that her peach colored skin glistened in the sunlight. Below that her breasts were pushed up together and she had the most remarkable cleavage he had ever seen. He was taken in by her beauty.

"Am I to your liking?" Kailyn asked playfully suddenly breaking Aiden from his less than pure thoughts.

"I –uh, well, umm, I was just thinking about how much you've grown and changed since the last time I saw you." he stammered out quickly.

She smiled at him and then suddenly she became enraptured in his masculinity. His skinny little boy arms were replaced with strong, muscular ones. His shoulders rippled every time he moved. His bright blue silk shirt was tight enough across his chest she could see that muscles had formed there too. He was sitting down beside her and Kailyn secretly wished he would stand up so she could take in the rest of this new body that was so unlike him. Aiden's skin that used to be so pale and milky had been replaced with a dark tan color that only time under the sun could have given. She would give anything to see if that tan continued under his shirt and maybe even down into-

"Kail." he said it so quietly she almost didn't hear him; but it was certainly enough to draw her out of her clouded mind.

"Yes?" she answered him at just about a whisper.

"Did you ever, you know, have your bed warmed during our time apart?" He asked and then blushed as soon as the words left his mouth. Kailyn suddenly found this amazingly adorable.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." she teased, "why? Have you?" and she felt her cheeks go warm and guessed that she probably blushed too.

"Oh no. You don't get to do that. I asked _you_ first"

Kailyn began fidgeting with the folds of the blanket in her nervousness. She never thought their conversation would end up here. "Well, if you _must_ know. Then my answer is no." She said it with such finality that Aiden knew he had taken her off guard with the question. _Good. I can still get under her skin the way I used to_, he thought_._"Well, then, to be fair I have to answer you question too then." Kailyn nodded her head. "Then I will have to tell you honestly. Yes. Yes I have had my bed warmed since our last meeting. It happened only once after an entire night in a tavern drinking. The next morning I woke up in the inn and the only sign of the lady that I had so intimately explored was a note on the pillow."

"Ooooh. Mysterious." she teased with her hands in the air while wriggling her fingers. "What did the note say?"

"Just that I was supposed to send payment to an establishment in Denerim called, _The Pearl. _I had never heard of such a place and I didn't remember becoming acquainted with a whore so I didn't send her anything. Not to mention it was kind of rude waking up in a strange place knowing I had been so intimate with someone I hardly knew."

"Maybe you were the one that was rude and that's why she left before you woke up" She nudged him playfully and he laughed. "So Kail, when is the big moment going to happen for you? Are you going to do what is expected of you and wait until you are married? I know how you _don't_ like to do things the way that is expected of you." It was his turn to tease her.

"I always thought that I would've done it by now. I mean, you're right. It isn't like me to do things _properly_." she laughed when she said this. "It's too nerve wracking. What if I don't know what to do and I do it wrong? What if I'm so nervous and scared that I run out of the room like a mad woman?"

"Now that would be a sight to see. Would you be naked, or still have your clothes on?" he teased her again.

"I don't know...hopefully naked and as I'm running through the halls my anxiety about anyone seeing me naked would disappear. I bet after that I could do it."

**Should the maid address Aiden as Ser Aiden? I wasn't sure on this, but I knew "Ser Aiden" didn't seem right. Any thoughts?**

**I know that right now I've kind of given Bryce two opposite characteristics. One where he is devoted to his daughter and another where he fails to give her due praise. I will touch on this later and explain.**

**Please comment. This is my first fan fiction in a _long_ time. I'm up for constructive criticism.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2** –**Warning! There is sex in this chapter, described in detail. Just wanted to give everyone a fair warning**

Hours after the picnic Kailyn found herself back in her room preparing for dinner. She would have to change her outfit to a more formal attire. The events of the picnic with Aiden were still swimming in her head. She had truly enjoyed herself and had a really good time. When was the last time she could say that? _"Probably the last time Aiden and I were together,"_ she thought to herself. Her feelings towards her old friend had changed. That much was clear; but she wasn't sure where to go from there. Kailyn wasn't even sure he felt the same way. But didn't he? The way he looked at her she thought she saw the same love and compassion in his eyes that she was feeling. _"Maybe it was my imagination. Wishful thinking."_ She thought back to his question about being intimate with someone. Had that question been an invitation? Was he trying to tell her something? Her heart skipped a beat and then suddenly began beating very rapidly as she thought that over.

Arianne had been in her room before Kailyn got there and laid out her clothes for the evening. It was back to being a representative of the Cousland name. There was no way she could get away with wearing the dress she wore to the picnic to dinner. It would be viewed as disrespectful. That made sense to her. There was a time and a place for everything. Her evening gown was very eloquent. A pale yellow color complimented with white ruffles hemmed into the skirt. The thin yellow straps complimented her petite shoulders. The low cut neckline of the black dress was replaced with a reasonable cut. Not so that it strangled her, but it didn't show her breasts and cleavage the way the black dress did. She thought the dress very plain; but she liked that about it. Kailyn was never one for beaded endorsements of clothing. Nothing over the top. Her sense of fashion was viewed eccentric to most people because she liked the styles of dresses most others thought were hideous. She liked the yellow dress. She had just pulled it onto her body (the corset built into the dress) when Arianne walked in.

"I thought you might need some help buttoning it in the back." The blonde elf had said to her.

"Actually, I hadn't gotten that far; but I think you are here just in time." she said as she moved her hair to the side so it didn't get caught as she was being fastened into her dress.

"So how did the picnic with Aiden go, my lady?" Arianne had asked with furious curiosity. Kailyn thought for a moment. The only word she could come up with to explain the experience was, "Strangely...But that is not the right word. It's difficult to describe." The elf's only answer was a raised eyebrow. "Well at least now you are buttoned. Do you want your hair in the usual bun?" The elf began brushing her hair to prepare it when Kailyn nodded.

As Arianne was brushing the two pieces of hair that fell to the side of her face there was a soft knock at the door. Kailyn looked a little surprised but answered, "Come in."

With the elf still working on her hair she was unable to turn around and see who it was knocking on her door. She felt her body tense in anticipation. She wished that whomever it was that they would speak so she could know who it was. After several moments the body did speak. "I am here to escort you to dinner dear lady."

Kailyn felt her heart flutter at the familiar voice. Aiden. "Of course dear friend. I think Arianne here was just about to finish up." At this the elf raised another eyebrow in protest that she was _not_ yet done with the pieces of hair she had been brushing for several minutes. Lady Cousland gave the elf a hard look and she put the brush down, curtsied and left the room.

"You look absolutely exquisite," was Aiden's only reply. He looked her up and down. He truly did like what he saw. She had definitely come into her own in these last two years. It amazed him how such a small amount of time (even though it didn't seem small while they were separated) could change someone so drastically. Kailyn was absolutely breath-taking. Her creamy shoulders were exposed due to the thin straps of the dress and oddly enough, the pale yellow color seemed to compliment her rich, red hair. He was disappointed that she went back to her standard bun but felt she thoroughly made up for it with her astonishing beauty. He looked at her face absorbing everything he saw. The thoroughly freckled, child's face from her youth had shifted; molded into something womanly. Her face still maintained a few freckles but they had grown so light you would only know they were there if you were looking. They stretched out across her petite nose and complimented her peachy skin. Her eyes were once again sparkling a bright emerald green. His eyes wandered down to her dress. This dress, too, complimented her body but without making it as obvious as the black dress. It held her snug around her tiny waist but then flared out at her hips but did not fail to accentuate her curves.

"-a little hungry and dinner really does smell good." Kailyn had finished her sentence and suddenly realized that her friend had not been listening. She couldn't help but smile to herself.

"Yes. I agree." was all Aiden could muster. He wasn't sure what he just said made any sense as he had no _clue _what his dear friend was talking about. He was still enraptured by her and everything except her seemed hazy. As if nothing else was real. It was only her.

Aiden walked closer to her to put his arm around hers to escort her. As he walked closer to her, Kailyn couldn't help but notice him as well. He wore another formal shirt; but a different color. His attractive, chest accentuating, blue shirt had been replaced by a pale green one. A smile played across her lips as she realized his colors complimented her. The green shirt still hugged his chest in all the ways that she loved. His face, oh Maker his face. His face was beyond the beauty of anything she had ever seen. His curly, chestnut brown locks framed his face perfectly. She was glad he still had those curls. His masculine face was hard, but friendly. He seemed to balance the two perfectly and this only managed to make her heart flutter even more. His tan skin contrasted against his pink lips. Everything about him seemed to compliment some other aspect of his body. His broad, muscular shoulders complimented his long, beautifully tanned arms. The shape of his thighs seemed to go hand in hand with his frame. He was perfect.

As they walked down the hallway arm in arm Kailyn smiled as she had just noticed he was finally taller than her. "It's about time," she said aloud.

"What?" Aiden asked. Had she been talking again and he wasn't paying attention?

"Oh. Did I just say that out loud?"

"Say what out loud?" Aiden replied with a wink.

"Just checking." She smiled.

They walked the rest of the way in silence both hearts pounding just from being so close to each other.

At the table Kailyn couldn't help but notice her father had returned to his usual hardened self. As Aiden pulled her chair out for her, she sat and he pushed her back in making his way to his own seat. "Kailyn I feel that you are spending too much time on frivolous activities. You need to focus on your studies. And if you going to keep _insisting_ that you learn combat skills you need to be in the sparring ring daily. That means that you need to stop this nonsense of sleeping until lunch time. If you went to bed at a normal hour you wouldn't need to sleep as long." Her father finished and turned his head towards Aiden asking him what he and his family had been up to and why his parents didn't come with him.

Kailyn hated how her father seemed to have two separate personalities. When it was the two of them he was always loving and kind to her. However, whenever there was anyone else present (her mother included most of the time) he would berate her to the point where she thought he was being cruel. As Aiden was answering the questions Bryce Cousland had asked her he noticed her sudden discomfort. She held her head down and focused solely on her meal. Eating it slowly and meticulously as she had been taught to do. Bryce sat at the head of the rectangular chestnut dining room table. Next to him was Halley, mimicking her daughter's motions. Kailyn sat across from her mother and Aiden sat next to the senior Lady Cousland. It seemed as though Aiden and Bryce were the only people who were _ever_ going to talk during dinner; but it was when dessert was being served that Aiden's attention was suddenly focused on Kailyn. "I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed your company today during the picnic. It was nice to catch up with you. I didn't get a chance to tell you at lunch like I had hoped so I will just tell you now. I know that you were looking forward to spending a few days with me, but plans changed just as I left my home and I am needed there sooner than originally planned. I am due to leave mid-morning tomorrow."

Halley and Kailyn were obviously surprised at this news, but Bryce just continued eating as if nothing was said. Obviously Aiden had already told him.

"What has happened that you are to return home so soon?" Halley asked.

"Nothing that you and your family will need to be concerned with. My family is taking care of it." Aiden replied nervously. Kailyn felt like he wasn't telling the whole truth. She made a note to ask him of it later feeling that he would tell her in private.

"I'm sorry to hear that you have to leave so soon. I was just getting used to your company again." Kailyn said obviously saddened by the news. She hated having to be so formal. However, with her father there, and in his not-so-nice mood, she didn't feel it was wise to say what she truly wanted to say. She wanted to beg him not to go. She wanted to tell him right there how much she missed him and enjoyed his company as well. Desperately she wanted to cling to him and never have him leave again.

Everyone finished their dessert in silence.

XxxXxXxXxXx

Kailyn had retired to her room for the evening. Her bath had been brought up and she told Arianne that was all she needed for the day. "Yes my lady." The elf curtsied but she could tell that something wasn't quite right. She looked at her friend's face. Nothing but sadness and disappointment. Even when she had excused her maid she didn't even look up. Her lady had remained by the fireplace looking into it like it held answers to questions that had even plagued the most brilliant of scholars. Arianne couldn't be sure but she thought she saw a tear on her cheek. She went over to her to put a comforting hand on her shoulder but was met with cold words. "I said I didn't need you to do anything else for me. Now go away!" Frightened, the elf curtsied again and left the room.

She wasn't sure why she had yelled at Arianne. After all, it wasn't her fault that her best friend whom she'd grown to love was leaving tomorrow. _"That wasn't the plan,"_ she thought to herself. _"He was supposed to come and spend at least a week with me. Then I could tell what my feelings for him really were."_ Oh who is she kidding. She knew she was in love with him. There was no denying it now. Kailyn stripped down and stepped into the steaming bath the maid had left for her. She had already put her bath oils in it to try and help her relax some of this stress away. She laid down far enough that the calming water was up to her neck. She laid her head back and began to play through the events of the day in her head. The picnic. Yes, the picnic. She was almost certain something had transpired there that she didn't quite pick up on. Damn him and his hard to read signals. She was never one to really pick up on things that weren't outwardly said and he _knew_ that. So why didn't he just come out and say whatever he was trying to tell her through innuendo and body language? She thought of the boy running around the woods near her house screaming because he was being chased by bees...

"_Stop running!" she screamed. "You'll only make them chase you more! You have to calm down!" The boy was still running around like he didn't hear her. Kailyn tried to get the bees to focus on her. She swatted at them, tried to scoop them off of him, anything to get them away from Aiden. As she looked up she noticed there was a lake not far from them. She yelled at Aiden to follow her. Aiden hadn't listened to anything she told him thus far and was confused when he obeyed this command. There was a dock leading towards the center of the lake and she had him run almost half way down it. He ran into her not realizing that she had stopped. Kailyn took the momentary advantage that he didn't know what was happening and shoved with all her might. Her friend when flailing into the water screaming at the top of his lungs. The bees lost interest when he went under and she guessed the bees swarmed back to their hive; ignoring her. Aiden surfaced with a huge scowl on his face. "What did you do _that_ for?" Kailyn couldn't help but smile at the clueless boy in front of her. She extended her hand to help him up out the water. Once he was sitting safely on the dock she told him that once he went into the water the bees knew they couldn't get him so they lost interest. A look of understanding washed over him and then he smiled. "Oh. I thought you were just trying to be mean to me," he teased, knowing it wasn't true. She smiled back at him and they went on to play elsewhere._

Something suddenly struck her attention away from the memory she was so lost in. She waited quietly to see if she could hear the sound again. After several moments and she didn't hear it again she went back to bathing herself. Kailyn realized that the water was no longer warm and she was beginning to get chilly. She stepped out of the bath, put on her night clothes and made her way to the vanity where she had spent the afternoon getting ready for the picnic. She soon found her brush and began to sort out the wet, tangled knots of her hair. Sometimes she hated having curly hair. It would tangle so easily. As she was finishing up with her hair she heard a noise. She couldn't be sure but thought it was the noise that disturbed her earlier in the tub. As the lady rose, she opened a drawer in her vanity and pulled out a dagger. _"Who could be wandering around this time of night?"_ she thought. _"Thieves?"_ There had been reports of houses being broken into in the city. She made her way to the door. Her back against the wall, she put her hand on the knob. In her head she counted to three.

In a matter of seconds her dagger was at the throat of the would-be intruder. She was about to slit his throat when a wave of recognition swept through her. She took in the chestnut curls framing an all too perfectly tanned face. The ice blue eyes stared back at her frightened. The pink lips drawn out tight. His rough hands were in the air proving he was unarmed. She recognized the way his shoulders rippled when he put his hands back down at his sides.

"Oh," was all she could say. Quickly she removed the dagger from Aiden's throat and backed out of the doorway so that he could follow her in. After he was fully inside of her bedroom she closed the door, dagger still in hand.

"Um. I don't think you are going to need that anymore. I promise I won't hurt you. Especially if you're going to use _that_ to exact your revenge."

A smiled appeared on her lips. She loved that sense of humor. It could pull out of any fog that her head might be in, no matter how dense.

She walked over to her vanity, put away the dagger and sat in a chair near the fire. She didn't face him. Again she was looking at the fire. Staring into the flames as they were licking and darting around her fireplace. They cast shadows on the walls that appeared to be dancing with the movement of the flames in front of her. Her smile had disappeared just as quickly as it came.

"I wanted to come talk to you alone. I—I need to know that you're not mad at me." Aiden said into the back of her head. He was still standing near the door and she was clear across the room in front of the enchanting fireplace.

He took a few steps in the room, moving slightly closer to her.

"I know that you were looking forward to spending more time with me, especially because it had been so long since we've seen each other. There was nothing I could d-" he was cut off.

"I'm not mad at you."

Five words. That was her answer. She spoke so evenly. To him, it sounded as if he were talking to one of _them_. The tranquil. He found them very creepy.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Again it was emotionless.

He walked over to her bed next to fire and sat down on it. "I—I don't know," he stammered.

"What do you mean _you don't know_? You don't even know what you want to say to me? That after knowing me your whole life, you're _speechless_? No, that doesn't happen to the great Aiden Gourn. He is never, _never_ caught off guard!" she turned to look at him. Her eyes were different. They were that dark shade of green. A shadow of the bright, sparkling eyes he had seen just hours before. Why was she so angry with him? He was trying to muster the courage to tell her how much he _cared_ for her. It was eating away at him knowing he couldn't spend more time here with _her_. In all their time apart, he had grown to _love_ her. He couldn't picture his life without her in it. Seeing her today, at that picnic, he realized it.

"I _do_ have something I want to tell you," Aiden said with more resolve in his voice. He was getting angry because she was angry with him. He grabbed her face so he was sure he had her undivided attention. "In all our time apart I never really thought of our friendship being more than that. Friends." He stopped just long enough to wipe a tear cascading down her rosy cheek. Her eyes were still beautiful despite being filled with anger. "However, at our picnic today, I began to see you in a different light." He paused as she was taking this all in. Her face softened, but her eyes remained dark. He let her pull her face away from his hands. He knew he had her attention now. "When you were staring off into the distance today it was as if I was looking at a different Kail. You still had all the charms that I had come to love about you, still retained your kindness, but you were just _different_. In just two years you had grown into a beautiful young woman. In the moment I realized this, I knew that I wanted to be by your side forever. I can't imagine leaving you -"

"Then _don't_!" She cried out. "Stay here with me like you say you want. I don't want you to leave me!" Kailyn stopped, not knowing how much she was ready to tell him. The tears that were sporadically escaping her eyes now came down like the rain. She wanted so much to tell him that she loved him; that she would leave her family and everything she knew behind to be with him and his family.

He smiled at her outburst. He didn't know that this woman he had grown to love was capable of such emotion. She had never shown it to him before. To be frank, it took him a little by surprise. He searched her eyes, trying to see into her soul. Trying to see anything that would make this easier. Here he was trying to confess his love and he was beginning to chicken out. He needed to see something that all his efforts would not be in vain. He stared at her for a long time; what seemed like an eternity.

"I have to leave tomorrow; I can't change that. But I do have tonight. Together. With you. I...I love you, Kail." There, he had said it. So much weight was lifted off his chest.

He looked at her face, trying to read it. Her soft face was completely unreadable. She had turned to stone. Her eyes were still a shadow of what they used to be. His soul was crushed. She did not feel the same way he had and he was pretty sure he had scared her off. A single tear ran down his cheek, his body betraying the calm and cool look he was attempting to portray. He started to stand up, but her hand on his shoulder pushed him back down. Why was she making this harder for him? Obviously she had rejected him and she wanted him to stay. Why? To rub it in his face?

His thoughts were interrupted by her kiss. She had leaned in and pushed her lips against his in a last act of desperation to get him to stay. "I don't want you to go. If you truly have to leave tomorrow like you say you do, then I want to make tonight count. I love you too. With all my heart and soul. I feel that you are a part of me, you help make me..._me_." She sat in front of him now. When did she scoot her chair closer to him? Her face was inches from his own and he could feel her hot breath on his lips. Another tear slipped from his eye. It was not a tear of sadness like the last one had been; this was a tear of joy. Of pure bliss. He had confessed his love to this woman and she was confessing hers back. She loved him just as much as he loved her. It happened exactly how he hoped it would. She kissed the tear on his cheek and tasted it saltiness. "I want to make everything better for you," Kailyn confessed.

Before she knew what was happening his lips were on hers, crushing them with burning desire. Her lips tasted so good! They reminded him of cinnamon and honey. His tongue licked her lips telling her that he wanted to explore her mouth. Her lips parted ever so slightly and he darted in. Their tongues exploring each others hot mouths; and as they explored they started to dance, twisting and darting and licking as if in step. He pulled back from her, looking into her face. "Do you want to do this?" He asked. There was no sense in pushing her into anything she wasn't ready for. After all, he had already asked her father for her hand in marriage. He explained to Bryce that if his love wasn't returned that he would not force her to marry him and move on. He was so glad that wasn't the case. Aiden scanned her face. Her eyes were still dark, but something else was there. The emerald green eyes had _hunger_ in them, _desire_. They were more intense than he had ever seen them.

"Yes," she breathed. Her voice was husky and she was having trouble catching her breath. She had felt the swirling sensation of pleasure building in her stomach ever since he told her he loved her. "I love you and you love me. I can't imagine a better situation _to_ do this," she declared with a grin.

Aiden buried himself into her neck. She smelled so good! She smelled like pears. Of course. His favorite fruit. He kissed her neck working his way up her jaw line and back to her lips. Again they shared the passionate dance with their tongues. He kissed down her jaw line on the other side, down to her neck, lower still to her collar bone. He could hear her heavy breathing and her hands wrapped around him. He kissed his way to her pink, erect, nipple standing out even through her night shirt. He suckled it a little through the shirt and heard her breath catch. Her head laid back and eyes closed, she knew she wanted this. He cupped the breast that he had just teased and began thumbing over her nipple. A moan escaped her lips. Aiden couldn't help but smile devilishly and he began to slip the shirt up over her head. He threw it somewhere on the floor. He didn't care where it went as long as it wasn't on her body. He stopped to take her in. Maker, she was beautiful. The peachy skin that he saw on her arms and face looked even better than he had imagined on her breasts and stomach. He began to toy with her nipple again sucking and nipping at it. He paused once and grazed his teeth over her nipple and her body tensed as she let another moan escape her lips. He switched to the other creamy, succulent breast and flicked her nipple. She moaned again. He brought his lips down to it and began to suck and nip at it like the other one. Her breathing was raspy and labored. She was softly moaning almost constantly now. He stopped and slowly took her into his arms. He picked her up, swiveled and laid her down on the bed. The swirling sensation in her stomach had dramatically increased. She felt she would soon burst. Aiden began once again at her lips. He pushed down on hers in heated desire. Her tongue slipped between his lips first and they once again shared the dance. He broke away from the kiss and began kissing down her body again. Jaw line, neck, shoulders, collar bone, down further to her left breast. He kissed it all over and nipped at the nipple. Her breath caught again. Her body's instincts had taken over. She was slowly moving up and down; enjoying everything he was doing to her. Aiden moved to the other breast and repeated his previous actions. He kissed further down still, her ribs, her stomach, her navel, and down to her hips. He then stopped and began again at her toes. He heard her sigh in frustration. She may be new at this, but she certainly knew what she wanted. He kissed her foot, her ankle, her calf, and traveled up her thigh hearing her breathing getting faster the closer her got to her velvet folds. Once he was just a breath away he went to the other foot. This time she heaved in frustration but still held her head back, her breathing even more labored. Toes, foot, ankle, calf, trailing up to her thigh, her inner thigh and then he kissed her through her small clothes. "Take them _off_!" She attempted to command him, to order him, but because he had nearly taken her breath away it came out a whisper. He gently put his hands on her hips and she lifted them instantly knowing what to do. He slid them off completely and threw them in the direction he thought her night shirt was. He worked his way up again, but this time only starting at her thighs. Left thigh, right thigh, slightly higher on the left...He was killing her. She was desperate for some kind of release. Any release. And before she knew it, he had his tongue inside her. Licking her large and swollen nub. She moaned loudly not being able to control it. Aiden knew that she was close. Her body was practically begging him to end the torture. As he continued to lick her nub he slid his middle finger inside her. This time she yelled in pleasure and tensed around him. He curled his finger slightly slowly moving it in and out of her. Her thighs twitched uncontrollably, her toes curled and her fingers dug into the sheets threatening to tear them at any moment. She moaned for more. Yes, more; and he obliged. Her pressure was building and building until she couldn't take it anymore and she released herself letting out a pleasured cry. He pulled away from her and she could feel his body over hers. "Are you okay, love?" he asked. "Oh yes," she breathed. "I want to do that again." He smiled at her and brought himself lower onto her body. He had apparently taken off his night shirt, though Kailyn couldn't remember when. Who cared? She could feel his erection against her thigh. It was not a feeling she was used to, but she liked it just the same. Kailyn knew it was his way of telling her that he wanted to be inside her. She nodded "yes" to him, her voice no longer working. He kissed her jaw line again and then her neck. He then put his tip inside her and breathlessly told her it was going to hurt. She nodded again. Her words still failed her. Gently he eased into her and she let out another long, pleasured sigh. Further, and further he went into her making sure to do it slowly. He was so gentle in fear of hurting her more than was necessary. He pushed into her still and then he felt it. Her maiden head. He held his breath and pushed past it. Her breath caught as if in surprise but then a smile appeared back on her face. The pain was over. He glided in and out of her started slow at first. She felt so wonderful to him. Her hot, wet, inside molded to him, squeezed around him. She was perfect. Kailyn was moaning his name as he slid inside her and feigned a pout every time he would start to pull out. His slow pace soon quickened. He knew he could not take much more of this. He wanted his release just as bad as she wanted hers. Maybe even more so. There pleasure was building, building and he began going faster, and faster. She was saying his name and he was saying hers. It started out as a whisper but by this time they were nearly yelling. With one last yell the building pressure in both of them was released. His legs shook from the intensity and he had a smile that spread from ear to ear. Aiden looked down at the woman he loved and kissed her with all the passion that his body could bear as he pulled out of her.

He laid down beside her in the bed holding her as if the world were ending. "Aiden?"

"Yes, love?"

"What happened to make your plans change so that you have to leave so soon?" Kailyn asked genuinely concerned.

"Nothing. My family and I are handling it. It's nothing you need to concern yourself with." He kissed her lightly on the forehead but she couldn't help but notice that again, he answered nervously.

"I want to help you."

"There isn't a way you can help. We have it all under control," he attempted to add a smile to his voice; but she saw right through it.

Giving up on the topic her mind wandered to the curiosity that she felt when he told her about his first "experience." She asked him.

"Well. It turns out I wasn't drunk when it happened. Everything else is true though. She was gone the next morning and the note on the pillow. She taught me everything I know," he said with a smile.

Kailyn smiled and thought, _"Well then she is an excellent teacher."_

"I love you Kail."

"I love you too."

They both drifted off to sleep.

**Don't worry, Alistair is coming. I promise. Zevran is also definitely making an appearance. ;)**

**Bear with me**


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Kailyn found herself alone in her bed. Aiden must have slipped out shortly after she fell asleep. It was probably smart of him to not be caught in her room. Her mind began to float to the night she just had and a huge smile played across her face. It really had happened and she was sure that it was the right thing.

She sat up and rubbed her face as she heard a gentle knock on the door. Arianne called out through the door letter Kailyn know it was her. "Come in!" she said cheerily.

All the elf had to do was look at her lady's face. She was positively glowing and smiling ear to ear. "You didn't!" Arianne asked teasingly.

"Didn't what? I have no idea what you're talking about," she said still smiling like a fool.

"Ah. Well then. That's my answer. I hope you weren't rushed into it," Arianne was obviously happy for Kailyn, but also concerned.

"Absolutely not. He was a perfect gentleman. Unless...do gentlemen do those things?" she asked as her memories suddenly flooded her vision. She shuddered at how alive she felt when his hands were on her. It was pure ecstasy.

"That depends on what he did," Arianne answered with a chuckle. "But truthfully, I don't want to know specifically _what_ he did."

"I wanted to make sure that I came here early enough to wake you before Aiden left. I'm sure you wouldn't let him leave without saying goodbye."

Kailyn frowned. In the intensity of last night she had completely forgotten that he had to leave by mid morning. She only had an hour or so with him before he would have to go.

"I'm glad that you thought to do that. Luckily though, I was beginning to wake up when you knocked."

Arianne walked over to the lady's wardrobe and pulled out her dress she would be wearing for the day.

"Actually, I'm going to be sparring as soon as Aiden leaves. I would rather just go ahead and put on my armor. Could you go and retrieve it from the armory for me?" Kailyn had missed training yesterday and did not want to make a habit of missing two days in a row.

Her maid walked over to the vanity, opened the bottom drawer and pulled out her leather armor. She knew that Kailyn would want to spar today, she had just hoped she would dress like a lady first.

"Oh. I see you were prepared for me to ignore my duties as dressing like a lady," Kailyn said with a smile.

"Of course. I knew you missed yesterday and would want to make up for it."

She walked over to her maid and took the armor from her. "Thank you. I know that you don't exactly _approve_ of my training, but I appreciate you supporting me anyway."

"I would never _dream_ of telling you what to do," Arianne said smiling.

XxxXxXxXxXxXx

Once she was dressed in her armor, Kailyn ran out into the courtyard hoping to catch Aiden. She saw him of course, standing under the pear tree eating one of the succulent fruits. As she walked over to him she couldn't help but laugh as she saw the juice pouring down his face and dripping off his handsome and manly chin. He still looked so gorgeous to her.

"They're good, huh?"

All he could do was nod his head in reply. He was fully enjoying the fruit.

Kailyn reached up and picked one of her own turning it nervously in her hands. Aiden had finished his pear and looked at the woman he loved. He had realized that last night may have been a little overwhelming for her and he was upset that he wouldn't be able to stay long to comfort her. He took in her face. Her brow was furrowed, her eyebrows scrunched together and her mouth was contorted as if she were in thought. Even in this state she was breath-taking. A few loose strands of brilliant, red hair had escaped her tight bun (again with the bun...) and blew in the wind. They danced across her face playing on her beauty even more. Her arms crossed over chest and Aiden thought that he should say something to ease her mind. He reached over and touched her elbow gently. "Are you okay? You don't regret last night, do you?"

She sighed, "No. Absolutely not. Last night was perfect. Its just that...I _really_ wish you didn't have to leave. I'm having a hard time letting you go knowing how I feel about you." Kailyn was suddenly shaking; overcome with emotion. He quickly grabbed her and held her tight against his chest squeezing his arms around her waist. He nuzzled the top of her head, the flowery smell of her hair overpowering his senses. It broke his heart seeing her this upset. If only he didn't have to leave...But he did. His parents tried to talk him into delaying his trip until this mess was solved but he couldn't bare not seeing her another day. He knew he couldn't put it off any longer. There was no way he could stay.

"I know. I know. I wish I could stay with you too. My heart aches at the thought of not knowing when I'll see you again." Suddenly that revelation washed over Aiden. He truly didn't know when he would see her again. This woman was now his world and his reason for living. His heart lurched at the thought. "Kailyn?" he asked trying to build up the nerve to ask a life changing question.

She smiled. "You only call me by that name when you want to be taken seriously. What's on your mind _this_ time?" She looked up at him and stared into his face. His arms were still wrapped around her waist and, if it at all were possible, he seemed to be pulling her closer. She could hear his heart pounding in his chest. He seemed nervous. His ice blue eyes were blinking rapidly and his brow was furrowed. "What is it? You look nervous and a little worried."

Holding both her hands in his he looked down into her eyes and began explaining. "Kailyn, I—I think I've loved you ever since you threw me into that lake. I was overwhelmed by your selflessness to chase the bees off me. I'm sure you were stung several times yourself but you never complained. I was just so grateful to have a friend like you. You are a strong, beautiful woman who isn't afraid of what people think about you. Always you have followed your heart even if it was a little unconventional," tears began to well up in Aiden's eyes, blurring his vision of her. His love's half smile that was on her lips before he began was suddenly slipping away. Her eyes were still the bright, emerald green but her face was molding into one of a determined and serious woman; but she still seemed confused. As if she didn't know what he was going to ask her. "The moment I saw you yesterday at the picnic I have wanted to ask you. Maker knows you are my heart and my soul. You have been since that afternoon so many years ago. Kailyn Marie Cousland, will you marry me?"

Again she turned into stone. Her expression virtually unreadable. Tears began streaming down her face but her eyes were still bright. These were tears of happiness. "Of course Aiden! I love you! I would have it no other way!"

She hugged him with all her might. Both of them had tears streaming down their faces. Her face buried in his chest and his chin rested on the top of her head. Now it didn't matter when they were to next see each other. Soon they would be husband and wife and living under the same roof. Their souls were swelled with happiness to the point of bursting.

XxxXxXxXxXxXx

All too soon Aiden Gourn had left and was on his way back to his home West of the Circle Tower. Kailyn was already in the sparring ring with her father. Bryce had turned back into his caring self and teaching his daughter everything he knew. Halley busied herself away from the ring not wanting to see her daughter "defile" herself with such things. Kailyn could not have been happier. The King's ball was in two days but she didn't think about that. Right now she was focused on training and tonight, while she slept she would meet Aiden in the fade.

XxxXxXxXxXx

The next two days went by uneventfully. They had traveled to the capital city the day after Aiden left. Kailyn missed him dearly but every night, they met in the fade. However, last night, Aiden seemed..._different_. He stilled looked the same. Handsome and masculine as ever; but something had changed. He felt more _real_ than she thought anyone could in the fade. His body language was all wrong too. He seemed twitchy, anxious, nervous even. There was that word again. The way he had seemed when anyone asked him about what was going on at home. Even in her dreams he couldn't look her in the eye. Not last night. She was worried about him.

Kailyn again woke up with a knock on the door from Arianne. She quickly sat up and told the maid to come in. "Good morning Arianne," she answered.

"Dreaming of Aiden again?" the elf cooed.

She was trying to not show the worry on her face or in her voice. Praying that her talent to do so did not fail her. "Indeed. Oh, did you hear the good news?" she asked her maid referring to her engagement.

"Of course. It is the talk of the palace and I'm sure the town as well. Everyone is just buzzing about the joining of Cousland and Gourn." She had walked over to her lady and laid out her armor again. "You have to train early today because King Alistair is hosting his ball this evening. I didn't think you'd want to miss sparring today so I had everything arrange for an early morning meet."

"How perceptive of you Arianne," Kailyn said in a teasing manner. "Sometimes it's frightening how well you know me."

After she had slid on her leather armor she headed down to the kitchen for breakfast, trying to push last night's dream to the back of her mind. She noticed that her parents weren't there. _"It must still be a little early for them,"_ she noted. The cook had brought out her favorite. Three pieces of sausage, cheese eggs, and two biscuits with orange juice. "You have always had a large appetite deary," Nilda the cook said with a smile in her voice. "The day you don't eat at least two servings of everything is the day the Maker will surely return to us," she added wittily.

"_Thank_ you _so_ much for your comment Nilda," Kailyn replied teasing the cook as she scarfed down her meal.

"You know I care for you a great deal and I don't care how much you eat. I just want you healthy," she said with a wink.

Nilda had barely left the room by the time she had finished her meal. One of the maids nearby noticed her lady was finished and took her plate, fork, glass, and napkin for her.

"Thank you Serah." Kailyn had always tried to be nice to her servants. They were, after all, cleaning up her mess.

With a bounce in her step she rushed down to the sparring ring not surprised that her father wasn't there either. _"I'm sure he'll be down before too long."_ she thought to herself. She grabbed her family longsword and a dagger gifted to her from her brother. It had quickly become her favorite. The dagger had a curvy, red blade and was sharper than anything she had ever wielded before. The gold-colored grip was beginning to show age due to its usage but that just made Kailyn appreciate it even more. It fit in her hand so perfectly now. She walked over to a practice dummy and began her drills to warm up. Suddenly she heard the sound of feet shuffling and instinct took over. She spun around and placed her dagger at the throat of her intruder.

"It's just me sister!" Fergus gasped. "I know, I have _got_ to stop sneaking up on you. You are getting better than me!"

Kailyn quickly removed the dagger and placed it in its sheath. "Oh, sorry Fergus. You know. Instincts and what-not," she replied laughing. "Besides, what do you mean _'getting better than me'_ I have _always_ been better than you!" At this, she was very unladylike and stuck out her tongue at her brother.

"Care to prove it in the ring?"

Her eyes narrowed, "Of course. I will have to put you in your place dear brother."

The young Couslands stepped into the ring after Fergus had grabbed his longsword (made of better material than Kailyn's because he _is_ her older brother) and his wooden Highever shield.

"Ahh, sister. I have heard the good news!" he was hoping to distract her.

They were circling around the ring deciding which moves to would make.

"Yes. It seems everyone in the castle has. Arianne said the news was spreading like wild fire."

They circled in a different direction.

"It's good to know that I don't have to tell everyone," and with that she lunged towards her brother. Fergus was quick enough and dodged her attack. He ran at his sister attempted to hit her with his shield but she was too quick for him. She leaped to her right and spun around behind her brother, hitting him hard in the back with the pommel of her sword.

"Hey! I'm not wearing armor!" He whined playfully, "that really hurt!"

Kailyn laughed an evil laugh, "You should have thought about that when you challenged me brother."

Now is his turn to spin around and face his sister head on. Before she had time to move he knocked her back a few paces with his shield and thrust his sword at her again. He caught the outside of her upper arm, knicking her slightly. A huge grin spread across his face.

"I merely gave you that one. So you wouldn't feel so bad when I do _this_!" she jumped at her brother elbowing him hard in chest. He fell back but managed to keep on his feet. With one swift motion she spun her whole body using her momentum to speed her sword-hand. She stopped just short of his throat.

"Gotcha."

"Andraste's flaming sword! When did you learn to move that quickly?" he asked her truly amazed. "I know it has been awhile since I last sparred with you; but you have made short work of our match, dear sister."

The younger Cousland looked up at her brother grinning from ear to ear and sheathed her weapons.

"I told you. I – am – better – than – you," she said spacing out each word to help prove her point.

"Yes, well, surely we need more than one sparring match to determine _that_ don't we."

"Care to go again, dear brother?"

"Most certainly."

And with that the two spent the rest of the morning sparring together. Out of about 10 matches, Fergus only won two. Around lunchtime Rayne had come up to the battling siblings and chuckled.

"Are you two going to spar all day or are you going to stop some time and each lunch? I know it is not as important to you Fergus, but it is imperative that your sister be at the ball this evening."

"Never! I cannot let it end here. I have been letting her win all morning and I have to make my 'come back' streak!" Fergus said with a sweaty, red face.

"Dear husband, if you have been sparring all morning and not won more than your share of matches, I don't think you will," Rayne added laughing.

"Thank you. I tried to tell him that he couldn't _possibly_ win; but he just won't listen to me," Kailyn added teasing her brother.

"Yes. Well. I'm sure this won't be our last meeting in the ring, sister. Consider this another challenge dated for the future!" Fergus said a little defeated.

"Yes, brother. Whatever you say. I will be more than glad to face you again."

The two siblings stepped out of the ring, put their weapons back on the rack and walked together with Rayne to the kitchen where Riley was waiting for them.

After another hearty meal, Kailyn went back to her room where a warm bath was waiting for her. Her leather armor was sticking to her due to the sweat and she was anxious to peel it off. Once she did, she stepped into the soothing tub with her oils. Arianne was picking up her armor in hopes of washing it for her lady.

"Thank you, Arianne."

The elf curtsied and hurriedly left the room.

Her bath was utterly relaxing and she was thankful that her maid had made her one before she thought to ask. Arianne knew she would be tired and sore from sparring and was attempting to get Kailyn to relax before the ball.

The ball. Oh yeah. Aiden and his family are sure to be there as well. After all, all the noble families were invited. She began grinning wildly at the thought of seeing her love again. As much as she hated the politics and court life, she was rather good at it. She has always known the right thing to say. Although, because her father was still the Teryn of Highever, she has never really had to do much of the talking herself, but she has helped to guide her father in preparing his speeches and arguments. This was one of their things they did alone. She wasn't even really sure anyone else knew about it.

Kailyn laid her head back and soaked up all the warmth and relaxation her warm bath had to offer. Her muscles _were_ sore but they were slowly beginning to loosen.

After she felt she had relaxed enough, she quickly bathed herself, washed her hair and stepped out of the tub and dried off. Then she grabbed her robe that Arianne had so thoughtfully laid out for her in arm's reach. She sat down at her vanity and pulled her hair out from under the collar of her robe.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked herself, referring to her hair. It was so curly but she loved to have it long. As much as she liked to wear it up, having long hair made her feel feminine. _"Every woman wants to feel that way _sometimes_ right?"_ Kailyn pulled out her brush and began to run it through her hair. She parted it every which way trying to come up with ideas regarding how to wear it for the ball. "I should really do something other than my plain, old, bun. It is the King's Ball after all. I should at least pretend to look like I'm trying," she thought out loud.

"Talking to yourself again, I see." Arianne had walked through her room and appeared behind her.

"Aren't you supposed to knock?" She asked playfully.

"I did, but after about the fifth time I thought I should just come in and check to make sure you didn't pass out or anything," the elf chuckled.

"Oh. I apologize. I was just thinking about how to wear my hair. I need to do something different; but definitely not 'over the top.'"

"I absolutely agree, m'lady. I have a couple ideas in mind, if you don't mind me trying."

"Of course not. You have always been better with my hair that I, Arianne. Do what you wish."

"Good to hear. But first, you have to put on your gown."

The gown that Arianne had picked out was lovely. It was a golden color and flowed gracefully down the full length of Kailyn's body. The bodice around the dress was a deep red resembling the color of her hair. The top of the dress was simple; maybe even plain; but the gown part of the dress was exquisite. It flared out at her hips and ruffled all the way to her toes. It had lengths of the same red material her bodice was made out of and thus it made the dress look three were small white beads placed sporadically throughout the billowing gown complimenting it even more so. She wore a pearl necklace and earring to match the beads. Her hair was up, lifted away from her shoulders to show the thick straps of the dress, but again in an extravagantly beaded braid. Kailyn's shoes were of the same gold color and material of the dress and gave her a good two inches of extra height. She wore, over her yellow gloved hands, a pearl ring her mother had given her for her last birthday. She was most definitely beautiful.

Arianne stepped back to admire her work. "You look exquisite m'lady," she smiled as she said this.

"Thank you Arianne; but don't you think this is a little over the top? I thought we agreed not to do anything this..._crazy_." Kailyn laughed.

"I just agreed so that we wouldn't have to argue and I could do whatever I wanted. I simply manipulated you," the elf responded still smiling.

Her lady sighed. Clearly she had been outsmarted. She should've known her maid would do something like this. She was more excited than herself about this ball.

XxxXxXxXxXxXx

The sun was just beginning to set in the summer sky when they arrived at the palace in Denerim. All the nobles had gathered in the ball room and Kailyn could hear the hum of their conversations. Her father and her brother had escorted her inside. Bryce quickly left to speak to Arl Rendon Howe. He and his family have been a close friend of the Couslands since the Orlesian occupation of Ferelden.

Kailyn's eyes quickly scanned the room for any sign of Aiden and his family. She saw many of the other Ferelden nobles and nodded when their eyes met. She saw some young women who were obviously foreign fanning themselves and batting their eyelashes. She rolled her eyes when she saw this; but there was no sign of the Gourns.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon," Fergus said in his sister's ear, seeming to read her mind. "He knew you were coming so I don't think he'd miss this for the world."

Kailyn smiled at that thought and squeezed her brother's arm in thanks.

"Well, I guess I should go mingle with the other nobles. I know Father is with Howe so maybe I will go join them. Try to at least have fun Kailyn." Fergus looked back at his sister, grinned and went to go join their father.

Kailyn walked around, smiling at those she made eye contact with, but quickly felt smothered by all the people in the room. She found a balcony just outside the main door to the ball room and stood with her hands on the railing watching the twilight sky.

She quickly became lost in her thoughts. Thinking of Aiden, of how soon they will be together as husband and wife. She forced herself to not think he wasn't here. He _had _to be.

"I was hoping that you'd be here tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sooooo sorry that its been so long since I've updated. I have a severe case of writer's block and I just started a new job. I know, shitty excuses. My apologies. Hopefully this chapter will be kick ass enough for you all to forgive me :)**

**Chapter 4**

Kailyn was shocked away from her daydreaming. Her body tensed and she spun around eyeing the face that just spoke to her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Ahh. Recognition flooded her face.

"Nathaniel," she sighed "I hadn't heard that you returned from the Free Marches. I hope you haven't been back long, I would've written you."

The youngest Howe smiled. "Actually I just got back two days ago. Father said he was attending this ball so I thought I would join him. That way I could catch up with some old friends. It seems like I've been gone forever."

"I have missed my pen pal. I'm glad you are back in your own country," Kailyn replied with a smile.

Nathaniel stepped closer to her. His face mere inches from her own. "I just heard that you are to be married to Aiden?"

"Yes. I was hoping to see him and his family tonight. We haven't seen each other since he proposed."

Nathaniel's face fell and he backed away to a normal distance. "Oh. I was hoping it was just a vicious rumor."

"Nathaniel," Kailyn said softly, "I told you that I didn't have feelings for you that way. I will always be your loyal friend and stand beside you no matter what. But I love Aiden."

He forced a smile to his lips. "At least you have found someone. I'm glad that you're happy." He reached around her back and hugged her.

"Ahh. Romance is in the air..." a thick accent penetrated the night air around them.

"I'm sorry?" Kailyn asked. She didn't know the voice and seeing the face brought her no recognition either.

"Oh. Forgive me dear lady. My name is Zevran. Zev to my friends. I am a close confidant and council to King Alistair."

"Oh! You must be one of the many who traveled with him during the Blight. Forgive me! I have been so rude not to introduce myself," Kailyn was taken completely by surprise by the tanned elf standing before her.

"Fear not. I am not offended. Nor do I think I ever could be with a woman of your beauty around me." His accent seemed to make his voice purr.

Kailyn blushed at his last remark but Nathaniel merely scowled. She may not love him, but Nathaniel certainly loved her. It did not behoove him to listen to a stranger talk to her like that.

Kailyn bowed slightly in honor of the elf, "I am Kailyn Cousland; daughter of Teryn Bryce Cousland of Highever."

"Ah. Yes. I have heard of your Father. He is a very powerful man, no?"

Kailyn nodded.

"Well, forgive me. I did not mean to intrude on your romantic moment Lady Cousland. I shall take my leave."

"It wasn't a romantic moment," Kailyn blurted out before Zevran could leave. Nathaniel seemed to be seething with anger.

"No? It certainly appeared that way," he smiled. "Are you in need of an escort then?"

The young Cousland couldn't help but be taken away by his suave nature. "Are you offering your services?"

"Only if they are needed, my lady," he answered as he extended out his hand.

She gracefully took it and the two drifted back into the grand ballroom leaving Nathaniel speechless and gaping.

Zevran wrapped his arm around hers and led her gently to the dance floor. He politely extended out his arm asking her to dance. She obliged and they began circling the floor to the upbeat tempo.

"Have you had the honor to dance with the King yet, _mi amiga hermosa_?" he asked her. She flushed at his compliment.

"I have not. I hadn't planned on dancing with him unless he asks me. Honestly, I am betrothed to someone else and I just came to this ball tonight because my family was specifically requested to attend."

"Oh? Is that the _only_ reason?" He purred again.

Kailyn thought a moment. _"What did it matter if that was the only reason?"_

"Well, I do support the new King. My family has sworn fealty to him. I believe he has a tough job ahead of him. Not only is he a Grey Warden, but he has been tasked with the duty of rebuilding a country after a terrible Blight. He has no wife and no heir as of yet. I'm sure he will be responsible for Grey Warden affairs as well as political. I do not envy him. All of his time will be spent on important business."

Zevran looked taken aback, "How very perceptive of you. I don't believe any noble woman, or man for that matter, would have considered that point of view. He is a new King, yes, and he has not exactly been taught how to rule. He will have many challenges to overcome in coming months. That is why I have offered to stay here in Ferelden to aid him. I am in no rush to return to my home though I miss it so."

The elf's grace was matched by no other. He was an excellent dancer and was leading Kailyn very well. It was a dance she knew well and she had to admit that even though she wasn't in the arms of Aiden, she felt very comfortable and relaxed. Maybe even _safe_? She felt a smile curve her lips.

"Yes. I noticed your accent. Obviously you are not from this country. If I had to guess, I would say...Antiva?"

He answered her question with a smile, "You amaze me with your powers of perception, _mi tesoro hermoso_. Most would assume I am not from Ferelden, that is true, but so few guess my homeland as Antiva. It is refreshing that someone would know without making it obvious."

Kailyn returned a smile and they danced until the end of the song. When it ended, they backed up a step, bowed politely and took their leave. Kailyn had promised Zevran that if she became bored with all the political discussion to seek him out for a _change of subject_. He had winked at her when he said that and she couldn't help but laugh at his suggestive comment.

She soon found herself slinking away to a shadowed corner of the room. She was feeling suffocated again and Zevran was otherwise occupied. He seemed to be escorting a young woman out of the room with a seductive smile on his face. She shook her head at her new found friend. Nathaniel was off somewhere brooding she was sure.

Silently, she made her way into an inconspicuous darkened room. She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. Kailyn had still not seen Aiden and disappointment was starting to overcome her. She scrunched herself into the darkest corner of the small room and silently sobbed.

Only a few minutes had passed and Kailyn saw the door to her temporary sanctuary open and a tall figure came in. The shadow quietly closed the door and let out a sigh. _"Does this person know I'm here?"_ she thought to herself. The figure cursed softly and leaned hard on the wall near Kailyn. She was shoved in the corner and she could feel the figure standing just inches away from her slumped over body. She watched the person trying to see if she recognized who it was. Just as she began eyeing the figure it quickly began banging its head on the wall. Hard. "What-" bang "do they-" bang "expect-" bang "from me?" BANG. Aha. The figure didn't know she was sitting so close. The voice obviously belonged to a man but not one she knew. He slipped down the wall and crumpled to the floor apparently overwhelmed. When he sat, his knee nudged Kailyn's leg.

He stiffened.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here. It was so dark and..." he trailed off.

"It's okay. I came in here to get away from the crowd too. I get uncomfortable around big crowds and feel like I'm suffocating. Well, that, and I was hoping to meet someone here at the party, but I haven't seen any trace of him all night."

The man released the tension he had been holding since realizing he wasn't alone.

"Good. So you don't think I'm a complete and utter idiot for not being able to handle myself and put on a smiling face."

"No," she chuckled. "I understand that sometimes things can be overwhelming. It's only human to have emotion. It makes you seem sincere."

He laughed slightly.

"I know a woman who would completely disagree with you. She would tell you that humans have the ability to control their emotions and should _never_ let them overtake you. She also thinks I'm an idiot."

Kailyn shook her head, "Then she must be a woman who has not truly experienced emotion," then she added with a smile, "or inhuman."

He grinned, "I completely agree."

They sat there for a few moments in a comfortable silence, listening to each other breathe.

"Well, I think I've hid in here long enough," Kailyn announced getting to her feet.

"I guess if you're willing to brave it, I should at least try too."

She walked over and opened the door. The golden light from the ballroom poured into their sanctuary and lit up most of the darkened place.

The man met her at the door, face still covered in shadow.

She thought that before she left, she should at least introduce herself to the man to whom she had just given advice. "Kailyn Cousland. Daughter of Teryn Bryce Cousland of Highever," she said bowing slightly.

The man stepped up to her revealing his face. He had spikey blonde hair, golden brown eyes, and a warm smile. He was wearing gold-plated armor and looked very handsome.

"King Alistair Theirin. Pleased to meet you," he answered with a warm smile.

Kailyn's jaw dropped. She stared at him stupidly for a moment before she regained her composure.

"Y—Your Majesty! I'm sorry! I had no idea it was you! Forgive me for being-"

He laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her from bowing a third time.

"It's alright! I didn't want you to know it was me," he blurted.

Kailyn stared at him dumbfounded again. "What do you mean you didn't want me to realize you were _the King of Ferelden_?"

Alistair cringed at the title.

"You should always be recognized! You are the most important man in the country! I should be sent to the dungeons for not respecting you properly! I'm so sor-"

"It's okay, Lady Cousland. To be completely honest, I hate having this stupid title. I'm just Alistair. Save the titles for when they're necessary."

She still stood still. Turned to stone. She could've been mistaken for a statue had it not been for the red filling her cheeks.

"So you just want me to call you 'Alistair' unless we have to be formal?"

"I would like you to, yes." He smiled at her hoping to ease her discomfort.

She returned the smile and seemed a little more at ease, "If you insist 'just Alistair'" she replied teasing him.

Suddenly, she saw something from across the room catch Alistair's attention. She looked in the general direction and saw Arl Eamon nearly running toward Alistair with a ghastly look on his face.

"Quick! Go back in the room! I think Eamon wants to tell me something important," Alistair told her.

She silently darted back into the room where they had met. She pressed her ear to the door she had just closed. She didn't care how nosy that was at the moment. The look on Eamon's face peaked her curiosity.

"Your Majesty!"

Kailyn thought she could hear Alistair cringe at his title again. She silently chuckled to herself.

"What is it Eamon? You're making it seem so ominous."

"I fear it is ominous. I've just had some scouts return from Castle Gourn. They say the place has been taken over and there are dead bodies everywhere!"

Kailyn couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mind was racing.

"Taken over? Taken by who?"

"My scouts are not certain. They said they barely made it out of there alive. They are so beaten and bruised. They look like they had been fighting the Archdemon itself!"

"I want to leave and go to the Castle myself. Right now," Alistair replied in a commanding tone.

"I don't think that would be wise, your majesty. You still have guests here to entertain. It wouldn't be wise for you to just disapp-"

"Eamon. I'm going. Please have them prepare my horse. I won't worry about taking anything," Alistair's voice had become very low, as if trying to contain his temper.

"Your guards will want to escort you."

Alistair must have given the older man a stern look because she heard him leave.

Kailyn stood on the other side of the door just long enough to hear the king sigh and leave. He had mumbled something to himself that sounded like he knew he would be forced to wait for his guards.

Not long after he left, she burst out of the door and ran out of the room. As she made her way to the castle grounds, she broke into the armory. Thank the Maker she had been working on her lock picking skills. She grabbed a silverite longsword and took out her favorite dagger from a hidden place under her bodice. Stealthily, she made her way into the Castle courtyard and into the stables. She wasn't sure if there was supposed to be someone on guard this late at night, but was thankful that no one saw her as she mounted the nearest horse she saw. She coaxed the horse into a fast paced canter.

She rode all night. She didn't care that she just left her father, her brother and Nathaniel at the party. She had to make sure Aiden was okay. He had to be. She had no life without him. He was her heart, her soul, he was a part of her. She felt she could never be complete without without him.

It wasn't until the first rays of light began to shine through the clouds that she saw his castle. It looked so peaceful from where she was. The horse was sure to fall due to exhaustion if she pressed it any further. Kailyn dismounted and ran into the city.

There were mercenaries everywhere. They challenged her. Quickly, she cut them all down without hesitation. She made her way into the castle. There had been so many bodies! She had never seen anything like it. Faces she recognized, faces that looked to young to understand what was happening, animals, they spared nothing. It was horrifying. Kailyn knew she couldn't focus on that right now though. She had to get to Him. Get to Aiden. He _had_ to be okay.

She swung open the heavy door to the main entrance. Before she knew what was going on, she was hit in the head with the pommel of a sword. Hard. She shook it off and barely missed a jab that would have gutted her right there. Through her blurred vision she saw the offender. He was as tall as a giant. The massive figure stood over her, dual-handed blade raised above her head. Just before the giant mercenary would've landed the blow Kailyn was at his back. She used her trusty, red dagger and jabbed him three times in his spinal cord. The giant crumpled to the floor, but was not bested so easily. He still had his massive sword in his hands and attempted to strike at her. She didn't completely dodge the attack and her leg was bleeding badly. She took her longsword and cut off his head.

No sooner had the giant's head fallen off Kailyn heard a shuffling noise behind her. She spun around and put her dagger at the throat of the intruder who made the noise.

"P—Please don't kill me!" he begged for his life. _"Pathetic_."she thought. There would be no mercy for him right now. Not after what he and his fellow mercenaries had obviously done.

She spit in his face. "Why would I want to do that?" she spat at him.

"I—I can tell y—you who hired me—us," he stammered.

"Tell me or I'll cut your throat right here," she growled

"But if I tell you, then you'll still cut my throat," he managed to say.

"If you tell me I will be _less likely_ to cut your throat, bastard!" she pushed her dagger harder against his throat and a stream of blood began to leak from the wound.

"Okay! Okay! Howe! It was Arl Rendon Howe who paid us to kill all the Gourns. Every last one of the-" he didn't even get to finish his sentence.

This was another body slumped to the floor due to her anger. She had left a thick blood trail from her bleeding leg. It mixed with the blood of all who had fallen before her. It mixed with the blood of the intruders that she had killed. None of that mattered. She had to find Him.

She ran up to the second floor of the castle. This is where the family quarters were located. _"He could still be alive. Hang on to that thought Kailyn." _She thought to herself. She ran through the hall, checking every room she came to.

The last room in the hallway was Aiden's. She remembered playing here as a young girl. Sucked into the memory, she could hear their parents laughing in the other room. She imagined she saw the young Aiden playing with wooden blocks and she could hear herself telling him he was building it wrong. A small smile threatened to appear on her lips. But as she threw open the door to her love's room, she was jerked back into reality.

Aiden's body lay still draped across the bed in an unnatural manner. His arm and hed hung off the bed, fingers touching the floor. His nose was bloodied; probably broken. Both eyes were blackened and he had a split lip.

"NO NO NO NO NO!" she heard herself screaming. It felt like she was standing outside of her own body, watching herself scream and react to the reality playing out before her. She ran over to him. His skin had grown pale, his limbs stiff. His blue eyes were open and though they were lifeless, they still pierced her soul. She covered his body with hers and screamed over and over into his chest with tears flowing. She didn't feel herself slowly becoming weaker due to her blood loss. Somewhere in between her screams she lost consciousness.

**Okay. Before you all kill me for ending the chapter here I promise the next one will be up within a few days. I wouldn't leave you hanging with just that for a few weeks. Lol. I'd hate it if someone did that to me, so yeah...I'm gonna be nice. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Alistair was mad that he had been forced to wait for his guards.

No.

"Mad" was an understatement. He was _royally pissed off_.

He had raced towards Castle Gourn with his sword at his side, leaving most of the guardsmen trailing behind. He didn't care. _"Who the hell would do this?"_ he thought as the Castle came into view. He could see all the dead bodies scattered. Beaten. Broken. Bleeding. He saw the women, the children, the men who had died defending their city. It sickened him.

However, as he kept riding he noticed that there seemed to be more mercenary bodies than villagers covered in fresh blood. _"Someone beat me here? But who? Who even kne-"_ His heart sank as he remembered _exactly_ who knew. Lady Cousland. But how could she beat him here? He didn't know anyone that could ride as fast as he could for as long as he could. _"Damn it! I should have just left without my guards! It was time wasted."_

He made his way into the main entrance of the castle. A dead, headless body of a qunari was splayed out in front of him. _"Is it really her? Is she even __**capable**__ of felling a qunari?"_

He followed the trail of dead mercenaries up to the second floor. He saw drag marks in fresh blood. He hadn't noticed it before. Whoever left the trail had dragged their foot while walking. Alistair followed it into the last room of the hall...

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kailyn groggily opened her eyes. Her vision was blurred as she tried to take in her surroundings. She didn't recognize where she was. Scared, she tried to sit up with her elbows to take in more of her environment. As she tried to move, her body violently resisted. Pain wracked her body. Her head was pounding, swimming. Her vision left her and she thought she heard a nearby voice telling her to stay calm, that she was safe; and to not move. But it all seemed like a dream.

XxxXxXxXxXxXx

"Alistair.."

…

"...Alistair..."

…

"Alistair!"

The King's head snapped up from its resting position. He had apparently fallen asleep sitting up in his chair again. His neck ached, his back ached. How long had he slept in that position? It seemed his whole body ached.

"Alistair, you need to get some sleep."

"In a bed."

"I don't want to leave her. It's _my_ fault she's here. I didn't get there fast enough. She beat me there. She nearly died because her King couldn't or _didn't_ defend his lands."

"Alistair, there was nothing you could have done to prevent what happened. You left as soon as you heard the news. You got there as quickly as you could."

"No, I didn't! I waited for my guardsmen! I didn't have to. I could've left without them. I wasted precious minutes while this woman chased after the monsters who caused this mess. Alone. She did something that was _my_ responsibility. I can never forgive myself, Wynne!"

"You did what you could with what you had. No one is expecting any more than that. You rode faster than anyone had ever seen. You made it to the castle in record time! Alistair, please don't blame yourself for this!"

He shook his head with finality thus ending the current conversation. Tears streamed down his already red, puffy face. How long had he been sitting here? He didn't even remember. _"I won't leave her side. She's in this condition because I failed as her King. I will see to her."_

"As I've told you before. I've done all the healing that I can. The rest is up to her," The old mage wearily looked at the man she viewed as a son. Nothing she had said made him feel any better and she was pretty sure nothing _would_ until Kailyn finally opened her eyes. Maker, she hoped it was soon.

Wynne ran her hands over Kailyn's sleeping body for another exam. Alistair's head had already assumed its previous position and she thought she heard him snore a little.

The girl's body was absolutely fine. There was nothing more for the mage to heal. She would just have to wake up on her own.

Wynne turned around and was about to walk out of the room when she heard the ruffling of sheets. She spun around again and saw into Kailyn's green eyes. They were finally open! She stole a glance at Alistair to make sure he was still sleeping. She at least deserved to wake up without him in her face apologizing.

The mage bent down to her knee and took Lady Cousland's hand in her own. She could feel the apprehensiveness emanating of the woman she had nursed back to health.

"You do not need to fear child. I am Wynne, a healer from the Circle of Magi. King Alistair has brought you into my care. I have done all I can for you but I'm afraid you are still going to need some time to rest before you can get back on your feet."

Kailyn's head was swimming. It was a lot to take in during her first few conscious moments. "King Alistair?" she asked weakly, "He was with me? I don't remember him..."

"He found you. He said you were unconscious and bleeding profusely. He carried you out of Castle Gourn and brought you by horseback to the Royal Palace. That's where you are now."

"The Royal Palace?" she asked weakly.

"Yes. There was a healer here already, but he was just out of apprenticeship. The King sent for me as soon as he arrived with you."

"I don't remember..." Kailyn paused to think and then the memories came flooding back to her. The events of that terrible night played through her head. She remembered Eamon telling Alistair about the Gourns. She remembered stealing a sword and a horse. She remembered killing mercenaries, a blurry giant. She remembered seeing all the lifeless bodies of those who tried to protect _His_ family. She saw herself running up the stairs, down the hall, into _His_ room...

Tears began streaming down her bruised face as her memory of seeing his dead body came to light. She tried to scream but hardly any sound came out of her mouth.

"No!" her voice was so hoarse her yell came out a whisper.

"He can't be..." she sobbed uncontrollably.

Wynne leaned over her and took the young Cousland into her arms. "Hush now, child. It will be alright. You just need some time. Your wounds will heal and you can move on past this nightmare."

"You're awake!" Kailyn's sobs had woken Alistair. "I'm so glad that you've finally opened your eyes!" he was flooded with relief but then immediately felt guilty. "This is all my fault and I promise I will never fail you again, Lady Cousland. You have my word. I will go to the ends of Thedas to make it up to you—to gain your forgiveness."

She looked up at her King utterly confused.

"How is this your fault?" she squeaked out. "You didn't know what was happening. I never told you that Aiden Gourn and I were to be married. Wynne told me you saved my life. I should be thanking you."

Both Alistair's and Wynne's jaws dropped.

"You..._What?_" cried Alistair.

Wynne held the Cousland girl even tighter. "Oh child! We didn't know! You heart must be broken into pieces! I am so sorry..." the mage was at a loss for words.

All the crying and sobbing was making her head hurt worse. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Everything was beginning to echo in her ears. She gently pushed Wynne away and attempted to smile at her.

"Thanks for helping me Wynne. But I must ask that you all stop talking. My head is killing me!" again she attempted a smile trying to lighten the mood.

"Of course, dear," Wynne placed her cool hands on Kailyn's forehead and she could feel relief washing over her like cool, refreshing water.

"Thank you."

"I will leave you to rest. I'm sure you need some time to absorb all this," Wynne glanced at Alistair but he shook his head in answer to her unspoken question.

"It's okay, Wynne. I don't mind if he stays with me."

The old woman gently nodded and left the room.

Kailyn turned and looked at her King, "How long have I been asleep?"

"More than a week. About 9 days. We were all so worried about you!"

She turned to stare at the ceiling. Absorbing how much time had gone by.

"My family? Do they know?"

"Yes. Your brother and father had to return to Highever two days ago; much to their dismay. Neither wanted to leave you here but I assured them that you were in the best care. Wynne said you shouldn't be moved anyway."

She sighed and suddenly felt guilty for leaving her family without warning.

"The young Howe came to visit you too. He's very worried and is still staying in my Castle here."

Howe.

The name sent sparks off in her head. It was _his_ fault His family was dead. She wasn't sure Nathaniel had anything to do with it but there was only one way to find out.

Seeing Kailyn's face scrunched up and the sudden darkening of her eyes (when did he notice her eyes?) Alistair asked her what she was thinking.

"Howe," she spat; voice still hoarse.

"You didn't want him to come see you? I apologize. I didn't know," again he was apologizing for something he didn't know. He couldn't help but feel he kept messing things up because he didn't know how to handle the situation. He scooted his chair closer to the bed and laid his head on her arm. "I'm so sorry Lady Cousland. Andraste herself couldn't keep me from trying to make it up to you."

She turned her head to look at the King crying on her arm. "Just Kailyn," she breathed.

He picked up his head and she saw the newly formed tear stains on his cheeks. One corner of his mouth curved in amusement, "Okay, 'just Kailyn.'"

"To answer your question though, no. The mercenaries were hired by Arl Renden Howe," she explained with her temper rising again. "I don't know if Nathaniel had anything to do with it; but I trust he won't lie to me. Not to my face. I need to see him."

Alistair's face turned a deep red in anger.

"I swear by the holy flame that swallowed Andraste herself, if that man had _anything_ to do with what happened, he will suffer a fate far worse than death. He has been staying in _my_ guest quarters, eating _my_ food, using _my_ servants..."

"It's okay, Alistair. I don't think he did have anything to do with it. He's always been a bit naïve about his father; but I still need to talk to him. Just in case."

"I know how important this is to you, but I need to ask that you wait to speak with him. You are still recovering. You had so many broken bones it was a miracle you were even standing, much less fighting. Then, in the middle of your recovery you suddenly developed a terrible fever. You lost a lot of blood from the cut in your leg too. Do you remember how you got that?"

She thought hard and Alistair saw her scrunch up her face, _"What __**is**__ it about that face that makes it so damn cute?"_ he thought to himself.

"After the faceless mercenaries I cut through; the last person I remember fighting was some sort of..._giant_. He lunged at me right before I cut off his head. I think I remember feeling something then but I was just so focused on finding _Him_. Nothing else mattered," she swallowed fighting back more tears.

"Well, that 'giant' was a qunari warrior. I knew one once. He was a great aid during the Blight."

Kailyn nodded her head. She had heard of these warriors and was proud of herself for felling one.

"Well, I should leave you to rest. I will send word to Highever immediately informing your family of your condition. I will also have an assassin friend of mine track down Howe," the King stated assuredly.

She turned her head to look at him. Maker he looked like hell. The deep circles under his eyes indicated his lack of sleep. _"When was the last time he slept?"_ His golden honey brown eyes were swollen and puffy. His skin had paled and his cheeks hollowed. _"When was the last time he ate? Has he been sitting with me night and day?"_ she thought. His hair was disheveled and she painfully giggled when she realized how "unkingly" this was.

He looked up at her laughter, "What?" he asked innocently.

"You look like you've been trampled by a hundred horses."

He laughed."I _feel _like I've been trampled by a hundred horses. I haven't left your side since I brought you in here. I wanted to make sure you were okay. After all, this _is _all my fault. I was really worried about you too. If it weren't for Wynne's abilities I'm sure you would've..."

"It's okay 'just Alistair'" she smiled. A full, real smile. But Maker, did it hurt to smile like that!

He saw her wince and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll let you rest. I will arrange everything for you. You can stay here as long as you want. I insist."

She wasn't sure if he left the room after that. She had drifted off back to sleep.

The next few days Kailyn spent in and out of consciousness. She had no knowledge of night and day, her body didn't seem to care. Every time she woke up, though, her King was there. Her eyes would flutter open and she could make out his form sitting next to her. He would ask her some question and she would groggily respond. Whenever a servant would come into the room with her meal Alistair would always insist on feeding her himself. She could remember he would gingerly help her sit up enough to swallow the soup. Almost always, though, she would fall asleep after two or three bites. She thought she could hear Wynne come in a few times to check on her progress. Her body had been so badly beaten but still she fought on. She had been fighting for her life. And now she was _still _fighting. How long did she need to keep going? Fighting back the tears, the emotion. Fighting for her consciousness. Alistair was dumbstruck by the bravery of this woman. She fought to try and save _him_. She wanted to destroy the people responsible for the destruction of her fiance's home and family no matter how much they would fight her back. She was amazingly stubborn and selfless...Maybe even to a fault. But that didn't matter while he was taking care of her. He almost _enjoyed_ not having to deal with nobles, politics, arguments with Eamon, and signing the endless papers on his desk. It was a welcomed distraction to him.

XxxXxXxXxXx

Alistair had sent word to Highever two days ago and received news today that the Couslands were coming to the palace to see their daughter. He was expecting them for supper.

It had been a few days since he last spoke to Zevran as well. He has asked to assassin to track down Howe so he could answer for his crimes. If anyone could find him, it would be Zevran. The King sat down at his study since Kailyn was in her room bathing. He was trying to come up with a way to contact the elf for a status report when a felt a sudden rush of air. Quickly, he turned around and faced the elf.

"Maker Zev! Can't you at least knock?"

"Ahh. But that would be against my character," he said smiling.

"Were able to find him?"

"Believe it or not, my friend, I have word that he has been in contact with The Crows. Recently. I am almost certain he'll be staying in Antiva. I don't know what he's planning, but obviously its big."

Alistair frowned, "What could he want with them? Hasn't he already proven that he can slaughter hundreds?"

"I have word that he is in negotiations of a contract with them. I'm uncertain of whom he might want to dispose of now but I am aware that he learned of Aiden Gourn's engagement with the lovely Lady Cousland at the ball."

Alistair's eyes widened in realization. "Why wouldn't he want her around?"

"I have confirmed that they grew up together and were best friends. Perhaps he thinks she will figure out it was him and wants to be rid of her before she can exact her revenge. If this is the case, he has not given the Lady enough credit. Apparently she is quite skilled at interrogations."

"Do you have any proof that this is the case, Zev?"

"I do not."

"Then we can't be sure of it," he wasn't willing to accept that anyone would want to hurt her.

"My dear friend, I don't need proof. My instincts are telling me that this is what Howe is planning. They have never been wrong before and have proven very useful to you in the past. In fact, I think you even came to rely on my instincts," the assassin winked at him. He knew Alistair would give in if he was sure this is what was happening.

The King started pacing the room.

"We have to come up with a plan. How are we going to handle this? We're going to need your expertise and talents on this one, Zev."

"Of course. I am here when you need me. However, can I make a suggestion?"

"Anything."

"Have you spoken to Valorn about this? It is always good to have another trusted friend examine the pieces we've put together."

"You know he's in Amaranthine. He's been busy dealing with The Mother and The Architect. I don't want to put Ferelden in danger by pulling him away from his post."

"Ahh. But what if you don't have to? I could be in Amaranthine in less than a day. I could tell him about the situation and he can tell me what he thinks. I want him involved Alistair. I may need him to assist me with certain, _skills_."

He stopped and stared at the elf.

"But you're the one who _trained_ him! It's not that I don't trust him Zev, I honestly fear for the security of the country. We have just begun recovering from the Blight!"

"Alistair, he is far superior than me with a bow. I need him to back me up."

"What did you do before you joined us? Didn't you always work alone using your _skills_?"

"That is not the point."

"Alright Zev. If you need him. Make sure he puts someone in his place before he leaves."

The blonde elf nodded and left the room just as quickly as he had entered.

Alistair was very worried. How was he going to protect this woman? He felt he had already failed her once, and was in no hurry to do it again. He was pacing again when there was a knock at the door.

He rolled his shoulders in attempt to release some of the tension and sat down in his chair. There was no need to show he was worried.

"Come in."

"My King, there are several things that need your attention. You have pushed aside your duty for two weeks now," Eamon said flatly.

Alistair's face flushed with anger.

"I'm sorry, Eamon. I was so busy protecting my people from the person or persons responsible for the slaughter of the Gourns that I simply haven't had the time to settle petty squabbles. Oh no, you're right. You _obviously_ need me to do that instead of finding the murderer. I can see how that is _so_ much more important than seeking justice for a great crime," the sarcasm rolled off his tongue.

Eamon stiffly straightened his posture trying to keep his cool.

"There are _other_ matters to attend to as well. You have made no public appearances since the ball. People have been worried that something is wrong. Especially since you just 'disappeared' and left me to cover for you! There have been several ladies who have called on you too. I do not have to remind you that bearing an heir is of utmost importance and should be done within the first few years of kingship. I noticed that you still had time fro _Grey Warden_ business though."

"You have _no right_ to question what I do as a Grey Warden! It is confidential and you know it. Get out," he rebutted.

"Your Majesty-"

"I said get out Eamon. _Now_."

The older man hesitated for a second but after looking at Alistair's face he thought it wiser to do as the King wished.

As Eamon left the room Alistair thought he heard him mumble something about "not being intimidated in this manner."

Eamon would have to wait. He needed to focus on Howe and make sure Kailyn was recovering. Her family was due at the palace any second and he still needed to bathe.

XxxXxXxXxXxXx

Kailyn gingerly slipped out of the bath. Her bones may be mended but she was still sore. For a moment she regretted sending away the servant who was supposed to assist her. She stood up, wobbled a moment but then regained her balance. The robe was laid within an arm's reach and with one graceful movement she had it on.

Slowly the Cousland girl made it to the vanity and sat down. She remembered the last time she sat down in front of a vanity. To get ready for the Royal Ball. "_Where I was supposed to see...Aiden,"_ It was the first time she allowed herself to even _think_ his name.

Pushing back her unshed tears she picked up the brush that was laid out for her and began running it through her just-washed hair. It made her feel good getting back to some form of normalcy. It was difficult for her to remember how long she had laid in that bed. It seemed ages.

After her hair was brushed she slid on the borrowed dress. It was a baby blue color and appeared very simple. _"Good. I don't think I could bring myself to button any sort of clasps..."_ she thought. She had left her hair down mainly because she didn't have the energy to mess with it either. It seemed fatigue was beginning to consume her already.

To help motivate herself she thought of her family. _"Fergus, father, and mother will be here soon. I am so anxious to see them. I miss them all terribly."_

Kailyn's thoughts were interrupted by two short raps on the door. Quickly, she walked over and opened it.

An elf was standing in front of her.

"M'lady, the King has asked me to inform you that you're family has arrived. He is with them now in the throne room. It has been requested that you join them as soon as you are able."

"Thank you."

"It has also been requested that I escort you there."

"Oh? That would be nice. I'm afraid I actually have _no_ idea how to get to the throne room," Kailyn nervously smiled.

The maid curtsied and took her place outside the door waiting patiently.

Before she left her room she took one last, quick look into the mirror on her vanity. She was determined to appear happy. She didn't want sympathy. After feeling that she appeared as best she could Kailyn met the elf outside the door and followed her down the stone hallway.

When they reached the tall wooden doors a handsome brunette page greeted them and rushed inside to announce her arrival.

"_Everything is so formal here..."_ she thought as she shook her head.

Her elven escort stood by her until the page opened the doors. He extended his arm towards to room inviting Kailyn inside.

**Okay, so I know this chapter isn't as well written as the last one, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging after how I ended that last one. Thanks to everyone who has subscribed and commented! I truly appreciate it :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I know I keep apologizing for the lateness of my chapters but I can't help it! I've been overcome with writer's block for a month now! GRRR. Someone send me some inspiration...**

**Chapter 6**

Kailyn entered the throne room and quickly found the faces of her family. She rushed over to them hugging each one. Her mother had a few tears that fell to her cheeks as they embraced each other. Everyone was overjoyed that she had recovered and was standing before them all.

Kailyn joined her brother at his side and looked up at Alistair sitting on his throne. He was wearing golden ceremonial armor. _"More of the formalities I guess."_ Quickly she took in her surroundings. The throne room was approximately the size of her dining room at home (which she thought was a little large for just a throne room) and had the royal family tree displayed behind the two thrones. It really helped everyone to appreciate how long ago King Calenhad had ruled as there were many branches and levels of family. Kailyn's eyes found the leaves that represented King Maric and Queen Rowan. Her parents were strong supporters of them and she always smiled warmly at their memory. The branch underneath Maric and Rowan represented their late son, King Calin. She noticed that Anora's name was not there but wrote it off that it was because she didn't have Calin's heir. However, she found it odd that Alistair's name was not there either. _"It must be because Alistair is a bastard. They never expected him to take the throne or to even be acknowledged as having royal blood."_ She hoped they added his name soon.

There were two flags on either side of the family tree. One had the seal of Calenhad and the other bore the royal seal of Denerim.

On the wall opposite of the main door was the sword used to kill the archdemon. It seemed simple to Kailyn, but then again, the Hero of Ferelden didn't need anything ornate to puncture the dragon's head. It lay against a well-made oak plaque with the Grey Warden motto inscribed underneath it. _In war, victory. In peace, vigilence. In death, sacrifice._ It all seemed very poetic.

Alistair stood up to address his audience. "Teryn Bryce Cousland and family, I welcome you to my royal palace. It has been my pleasure to become acquainted with your daughter. She has proven to be quite capable with a sword which has left me pleasantly surprised."

"If I may, Your Majesty, I have spent many hours training both my son _and_ daughter. Both have proven to be very formidable should the occasion arise," Bryce boasted with a confident smile.

Did Bryce just _publicly_ pay Kailyn a compliment? To _the King_? _"I guess I really scared him..."_ Kailyn thought to herself.

"I am glad that you have trained your children so well. It never hurts to have another able body with combat training," Alistair continued. "However, I have not only called you here so that you may take your daughter home, but I wanted to inform you that the young Lady Cousland has discovered the man responsible for the slaughter of the Gourn family and their city."

The Cousland family suddenly became very uneasy. Fergus began shifting his weight in nervousness and Halley just seemed shocked that any _man_ could be responsible for the massacre. Bryce, however, just hardened his face in an effort to appear strong for his family. Kailyn braced herself to hear the name again.

"In her interrogation of a mercenary she later killed," Alistair winked at her as he said this, "it was said that Arl Renden Howe hired the men to murder the family."

Everyone in the room except for Alistair and Kailyn looked completely dumbfounded.

"I know this is a shock to you all. I have set forth an investigation and I apologize but I need to ask you all something. I know that the Howes and the Couslands have been friends for many generations. I know that you, Teryn Cousland, fought beside the arl and the late Teryn _Mac Tir_," Alistair seemed to spit out Loghain's name, "during the Orleasion occupation, but do you know of _any_ reason at all that he would want their family dead?"

Halley and Fergus both shook their heads in answer to to question. Bryce, however, seemed deep in thought. "Your Majesty, I don't know if it's relevant, but Howe has told me in the past he suspected the Gourns were selling smuggled goods to merchants in the Free Marches. I told him then, and I stand by it now, that they would do no such thing and that he needed to find proof. The Gourns are—_were—_good people and I can't imagine they would do anything of the sort. However, I never imagined Howe would do anything this..._dramatic_ either. Our relationship with Renden has been..._strained_ over the last decade or so. We have drifted..."

"You were still close with the Gourns though, correct?" Alistair asked.

"Yes your majesty. In fact, Kailyn and Aiden had started to become close friends around the time my relationship with Renden was beginning to strain. I feel I must say, though, that just because my relationship with the arl was fading, we still valued the company of his family and view them as friends still today. I am of the opinion he was slowly losing his mind," Bryce added. "I never knew much of his wife, but Thomas, Nathaniel, and Delilah were always wonderful friends to my children. They have always been well behaved in my home and I have no reason to suspect they were aware of their father's actions."

Alistair nodded. "You know the family better than anyone. I will take your word. Kailyn, however, has requested an audience with Nathaniel. She feels that he will not lie to her."

"My daughter and Nathaniel were just as close as she and Aiden. If she wishes to speak with him I have no objection. I pray that she is right and he will not lie to her."

The king walked forward towards Kailyn and spoke softly. The rest of the family had to strain to hear him. "If you still wish it, I will give you my study to meet with him. He is still in my castle in his guest room. Just say the word and I will send for him," as he said this he looked in her eyes. He wanted to be sure she was as confident as she sounded. He saw no sign of doubt.

Kailyn straightened her posture and squared her shoulders. "Yes, your majesty. If this meeting is concluded, I wish to see him right away."

"As you wish," Alistair backed up a few paces and turned to face the group as a whole again. "Teryn Cousland, you and your family are welcome to make yourselves at home. Feel free to explore my home. I'm told the gardens are quite lovely this time of year," he turned to Fergus. "She has every confidence this meeting will go well. Try not to worry so much. I will send her your way once her meeting has concluded."

Fergus nodded and tried to smile. It ended up with only one corner of his mouth turned up and worry spelled out all over his face. The king put his hand on the other's shoulder in attempt to offer comfort. It did little to appease him as he turned and walked out of the throne room with his family.

Kailyn stayed behind to watch her family leave.

"Your brother is worried about you."

"I know. I'll talk to him after I speak to Nathaniel. I think they will all feel better after we eat supper together."

Alistair just looked at her and sighed, "I'm worried about you too. If Nathaniel _is_ in on his father's plan, you could be giving him the perfect opportunity to kill you."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry. I'm not completely helpless, you know," she said with a wink.

"When you are well rested and not recovering from a near death experience, yes. But you're still recovering. Look at you! You're exhausted already! I don't want to have to explain more injuries to your family. It was bad enough the last time," Alistair cracked a smile at his last remark.

"I'm fine. If it makes you feel any better, place a guard on the outside of the door. That way, if something happens, he will hear."

"I'll place _two_ guards."

Kailyn rolled her eyes, "If you _insist_. Now show me where this study of yours is. I'm absolutely lost in this place!"

Alistair smiled and together they left the room.

* * *

Kailyn stood in the study as her king left. She heard the door close behind him. She giggled to herself as she thought about what he had just told her.

"_If anything goes wrong, I want you to know that I keep a dagger hidden underneath my desk. Try to keep yourself positioned on the back side of the desk so you can easily reach it."_

"_Alistair. I'm not a little girl. I know how to position myself around a hidden weapon! Jeeze. And besides, I'm never without a dagger. EVER," she winked. "So stop worrying so much. I'll be fine."_

_The king still looked a little uneasy but nodded at the woman in front of him and turned to leave._

Kailyn looked around. It seemed very bland to her. _"Kinda dreary."_ she thought. The four stone walls had one single window that was so dirty she would be surprised if sun shone through it at midday. In the center of the room was an oval rug. It was deep red outlined in gold. The fireplace was small but then again, it was a small room. A quill and a bottle of ink sat on the corner of the oak wood desk. The feather on the quill she thought was a bit ridiculous. It was much to large to be of any practical use and she imagined it often got in the way when trying to write. She imagined Alistair trying to write while the big, red feather fluttered in front of his face, tickling his nose. A smile appeared across her lips.

The desk chair was also boring and it matched the desk. It was also made of oak had four legs, a back and appeared sturdy. _"I guess you don't need anything else in a desk chair."_ She walked towards the fireplace and poked the small, dying fire back to life when there was a knock at the door.

Kailyn was about to say "come in" but Nathaniel opened the door without invitation. He walked just far enough in to shut the door behind him.

"I was told that you were awake. You're amazing to have survived all that. I'm so glad you're okay," he came further into the room walking closer to her.

"King Alistair told me that you came to see me while I was still sleeping. He said you've been staying here at the castle. Did you stay because of me?"

The young Howe nodded. "You know how I feel about you. My heart was broken into pieces when I learned of your condition. I would've stayed with you at your bedside but the King's healer wouldn't allow it; said I would get in the way. I wasn't allowed to see you after you woke up either. No one would tell me why. Did you order that?"

"Nathaniel, did they tell you _why_ I wanted to talk to you in private?"

He shook his head, "No. The servant who escorted me down here said he didn't know what the meeting was about. It all seems a little ominous."

"You know all of this happened because of the mercenaries that stormed Castle Gourn and the surrounding city."

Again he nodded.

"In an attempt to find out who was behind all the bloodshed I questioned one of the intruders. He said," she paused in attempt to gain her strength for what she was about to tell her friend. "He told me that you're father hired them."

Nathaniel looked puzzled. "My father? Are you sure? You must have heard wrong. He is certainly not that...that _depraved_. He knew that your family was close to theirs. As close as we are to yours."

Kailyn thought so far he was taking it pretty well. He hadn't screamed or yelled at her. Maybe he was taking it _too_ well...

"Nate, he said the words, 'Arl Renden Howe.' It was not to be mistaken."

"Maybe he just said that name in attempt to spare his own life."

"If he thought his life was going to be spared then why would he lie? Obviously I would've found out the truth and killed him then."

He stared at her in disbelief. "My father isn't capable of such things. He had no reason to slaughter them! You can't actually tell me you believe this? Kailyn, you know us!"

She remained firm, "You. I know _you_. I know your brother and sister. Intimately even. I _do not_ know your father."

"Well _I_ know my father. I'm telling you he couldn't do this! Don't you believe me?"

She sighed, "I believe that _you_ believe he didn't do this. Nate, I wanted to talk to you first to see if you were in on his plan. I wanted to see if you knew anything about it."

Nathaniel's eyes suddenly filled with fire. "You thought I had something to do with this?" he spat. "Kailyn, how _could_ you? Just now you claimed to know my siblings and I intimately but you thought I might have knowledge of the this 'plan' my father _supposedly_ had to destroy Aiden and his family? What the hell gives you the right to accuse _anyone_? Obviously you don't know me as well as you think you do. I would _never_ do anything like this!" He was yelling at her now. He had every right to yell at her. Renden apparently sat high on a pedestal where his kids were concerned.

"You knew that Aiden and I were close! Maybe you thought he was a 'threat' to our 'relationship.' I don't know! I wanted to find out for sure. Can you blame me?" she was shouting back now.

"Damn it Kailyn Marie Cousland! Not every _fucking_ thing revolves around you!" and with that comment Nathaniel Howe stormed out of the room slamming the door so loud behind him the echo reverberated down the hallway.

She crumpled down into the desk chair. Immediately Alistair rushed in, pushing the two stationed guards out of the way, with his sword drawn afraid something had gone horribly wrong.

When he saw her slumped down in the chair he quickly sheathed his sword and kneeled down beside her, "I take it that conversation could've gone a little better?"

Kailyn looked up at him blinking a tear out of her eye. It rolled down her cheek and clung to her jaw. Alistair scooped it up with his gaunleted finger in an attempt to comfort her. "What do you need me to do? Want me to go break his jaw? Throw him in the dungeon? Exile him? I can do that. I'm King you know," he winked.

She stared into his face half wondering if he was serious. Her mouth half curved into a smile at his comment. "Sometimes I forget that you are. You don't seem to act very 'kingly.' At least, not around me."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment, or an insult?" he thought about it for a moment. "Nevermind, I don't want to know. I'll take it as a compliment."

Alistair escorted the young Cousland back to her guest room for some much needed rest.

"My family will think I'm avoiding them," Kailyn commented as they both stood outside her door.

"I'll just tell them that you were beginning to feel faint from walking so much after your recovery. They'll understand; and besides, it's not a _complete_ lie," he smiled.

"Great. Then they'll just be that much more worried."

"Do you want me to tell them what really happened?"

Her eyes grew wide. "No! Your story works well enough. I'd rather deal with the after effects of your story than what really happened."

Alistair laughed, "Don't worry. They won't hear it from me." He turned away to go search for her family when a hand pulled his elbow back.

He faced her again, confused.

"Thank you," she said quietly. He started to stay something in turn but she cut him off. "Thank you for being so great; for sticking by me and understanding that my family doesn't need to know _everything_. You've been amazingly supportive during my recovery." Her emerald eyes were sparkling for the first time in what seemed like ages.

* * *

He nodded his head in acknowledgment not wanting to spoil with moment with words. Kailyn opened the door to her room and went inside leaving Alistair to go find her family.

She wasn't sure how long she had been laying on the bed mentally replaying her converstaion with Nathaniel. The only good thing that came out of the whole ordeal is that she knew, without a doubt, that he was not in on his father's scheme. But how had it gone so horribly wrong? Why did she say those things to him when she didn't mean them? Kailyn never felt that Nathaniel was threatened by Aiden. Where did that even come from? She thought about the last thing he said to her. He had every right to be mad. What she said _was_ very selfish. Especially when she took into account that she didn't even feel that way.

She let out a defeated sigh and sat up.

Suddenly her bedroom door opened and her brother came rushing in, closing the door behind him.

"Fergus? What are you doing here?"

"King Alistair told me you felt feint. I wanted to come check on you. Are you alright?"

"I'm better now that I have laid down awhile," she smiled in attempt to alleviate her brother.

"We're all very worried about you. If you don't think you can make the trip back home, its okay. We can wait until you feel better, Kail." His eyes bore into hers trying to see what was wrong.

"Honestly, Fergus," she said as she rolled her eyes. "I'm not some frail old woman. I'll be fine. I just need to take a break every once in awhile."

Her brother gently sat down next to her on the bed, "So how'd it go with Nate?"

She shook her head, "He doesn't know about his father's treachery."

Fergus' eyebrow raised in question. "That's all you're going to tell me? That's the story you're going to give our parents. Can your dear brother at least have a few details?"

Kailyn sighed and slowly began to tell him what happened. To his credit, he sat and listened without interruption and when she finished he asked her, "Did you really think that Nathaniel felt threatened by Aiden?"

"No. I don't even know why I said that. It's like I was trying to make Nate out just like his father. I was out of line."

He wrapped his arm around his sister and kissed her forehead. "It'll be alright. Give him some time to cool down. He needs to figure out the truth on his own."

"The Maker only knows when that will happen," she mumbled into his chest.

Fergus sat with his sister in arms for awhile before mentioning the upcoming meal with their family. His reminder was met with, "Oh yeah," and she sat up smiling at her brother.

The Cousland siblings got up together and Fergus led them toward the dining hall for supper.

If Kailyn thought the throne room was huge, this was gargantuan. It had to be at least twice the size of the throne room. There were tapestries draped across the walls covering much of the bleak, gray, stone. There was a flag bearing the seal of each major city in Ferelden. On the wall closest to the head of their table hung a deep purple flag that was at least twice as long as she was tall. It had King Calenhad's seal on it. The flag was embroidered with gold colored fabric and appeared to be as old as King Calenhad himself. The room had windows on three sides and they seemed to be as long as the flag. It reminded her of the Chantry windows.

The dining hall had many tables in it but only one was set with plates, silverware, and glasses. She and Fergus headed toward it and were greeted by their family. The look of relief on her mother's face made Kailyn feel guilty about not going to see her right after she spoke with Nathaniel. Obviously, they all still worried about her.

They took their seats and began idle chatter. Kailyn just sat still and pretended to listen to what was being said around her. It made her realize how long the table was. It was made of a dark mahogany-colored wood and had carved claws for feet. The legs of the table were massive, but then again, so was the table. There were five place sets set out. One at the head of the table (for the King obviously) and two on each side of the king. She was curious why he hadn't joined them yet.

Just when she had looked up, an elven servant came in with a basket of warm bread. He placed it on the table and began asking the Couslands if they would like their wine now. After they all had answered, he left quickly only to come back a few seconds later with a glass pitcher full of red wine. He filled all of their glasses. However, he seemed to be moving slowly now; as if he were stalling. Kailyn couldn't help but notice their King had yet to join them. Once the glasses were filled the servant apologized for the meal not yet arriving and asked if they needed anything else.

"Yes," said Kailyn. "I would like to know your name. I wouldn't want to have to call you just 'servant.' Tell me the name you wish to be called."

He smiled at this but also seemed a little taken aback.

"M'lady, my name is Dakath. It is a pleasure to serve you this evening."

"Thank you, Dakath. I shall not forget that name."

The elf turned and hurried out of the room.

"I'll never know why you insist on knowing their names. If I had it my way, they wouldn't even _have_ names. Maybe numbers..." Bryce said to her.

Kailyn stared daggers at her father and was about to rebut when a page came in to announce that the King was finally here.

He hadn't even finished getting his announcement out when Alistair came rushing in, waving off the page.

"You don't have to announce me when I'm coming to my own dining hall. It isn't necessary."

"Yes your Majesty." The page bowed and hurried out of the room.

The King stood before them at his place at the table. "I apologize for my lateness. I was...detained."

"It is no trouble, your Majesty. We enjoyed some of your delicious bread the servant brought out to us." Bryce explained.

"Oh good. So at least you're not _starving,_"

Kailyn's family was a little put off at his easy going temperament. It wasn't the "formality" they had come to expect from a king.

Kailyn, however, winked at him in appreciation of his humor. He awkwardly smiled back and sat down.

Dakath brought in the food while another servant went behind him to serve them.

The meal consisted of a smoked goose with roasted lamb, and a porridge with cabbage. They all began to eat.

"Maiden Cousland, I am curious as to how your conversation went with Nathaniel Howe. Could you tell us what you found out?" Alistair asked trying to sound formal.

She finished chewing, put down her fork and looked up. "I have gathered from my conversation with him that he was not aware of his father's treachery. In fact, Nathaniel accused me of lying when I told him his father was responsible."

Bryce sighed and looked over at his daughter, "Well, at least we're sure he didn't have a role in this."

Kailyn nodded, "I am absolutely certain."

Fergus quickly changed the subject, not wanting to ruin his supper with talk about Reden Howe. The rest of meal continued with everyone bantering back and forth.

* * *

Kailyn was back in her room getting her things together when she heard a knock on her door. She hurried over and opened it half surprised to see the King staring back at her.

"King Alistair." he winced at the title again. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

He didn't say anything but just looked at her. She was about to say something else, but he cut her off. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay. Do you need any help packing your belongings? I could send someone for you."

"No, thank you. I think I can handle packing my things," she replied with a giggle. "If I can't even do that, what's the point of my existence, right?"

Alistair laughed nervously but didn't budge from his spot.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked him utterly confused why he was acting so strangely.

"Umm, well, I umm, I don't think its exactly..._proper_ for me to be alone with you in your room..."

"Well then is there something I can help you with? I mean, you are just standing outside my door, not moving."

"Yes. Well. I suppose that's even more improper than going into your room alone with you." he said with a nervous chuckle. "So, if the invitation still stands, yes, I would like to speak with you privately in your room."

"Certainly," she answered still bewildered. She stepped out of the way holding the door open for him and he entered her room.


	7. Chapter 7

_A short note: I know it has be FOREVER since I posted a new chapter. You'll get over it :P I had a different story that was stuck in my head and I had to get it out. It was circling in my brain for two weeks. It's a good read if you like Anders in DA2. I entitled it The World He Created so yeah. I love you all for commenting. I try to take your advice. Reading other people's stories always helps me to improve too._

**Chapter 7**

Alistair walked in and nervously sat on her bed careful to avoid sitting on the clothes that were thrown about the room. She closed the door softly and turned around, pressing her back to the door, and faced him. A strange warmth had crept up into her face. She was just as nervous as he was being alone in her room and her head was clouded just having him so close to her.

A few awkward seconds passed with both of them wringing their hands trying to come up with something to say. Finally, Kailyn softly leaned her head on the door and still not moving from her spot she asked, "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Alistair suddenly sat up very straight and looked at her, his expression completely serious. "You know the 'friend' I had check in on Howe?"

She scrunched her eyebrows trying to remember. "I think so…an _assassin_ friend, right?"

"Yes. Well, as it turns out, Zevran has found him."

"Zevran? You used him? I should've guessed. I met him the night of the ball. He didn't kill Howe, did he? I want to do it myself."

The king chuckled to himself at her determination to be the end of this man. "No. But he has informed me of some rather bad news."

"How much more worse can it get?"

"Well, it seems that Howe has come into contact with the Antivan Crows. You've heard of the organization?"

She lightly slammed her head into the door. "Yes. They are ruthless criminals who get the job done no matter what. It's rumored that Zev was one of them."

"Oh, so he's asked you to call him 'Zev' already, huh?" he asked, teasing her in attempt to lighten the mood.

"Well was he one of them?" Kailyn asked him not amused.

"Yes. He was. He found out about Howe through some of his old contacts."

"Well, then its simple. I go to Antiva, find him and kill him myself. His death will break the contract and I can go about picking up the pieces of my shattered life." She moved from her place in front of the door to begin packing again.

"No," Alistair said as calmly as he could.

"No? What do you mean 'no'?" She looked up at the King while blindly throwing her bath oils in her suitcase.

"I mean no."

She stopped packing and stared at him. "Are you telling me I can't kill the man who _slaughtered_ my future family? You're telling me I can't get revenge for the man I love being ripped out of my life?" Her voice had steadily been rising as she kept talking.

To Alistair's credit, he just sat there and listened. Kailyn's eyes had darkened with anger. She stood near her suitcase seething. Her fists were clinched and trembling. Her knees were locked into place and her shoulders were squared. He could see this was something she would not give up easily.

"I'm telling you that you cannot _hope_ to do this _alone_," his calm demeanor did nothing to soothe Kailyn.

Her teeth clinched in response. "I think I can handle myself."

He couldn't help it. He just started laughing. His laughing pierced the room. It seemed to shake the furniture. It filled her ears and before she knew what she was doing the small framed woman was inches away from her King's face. Her eyes were so dark they nearly looked black.

Alistair stopped laughing, but he did continue to smile.

"What, in Andraste's name, is so unbelievably funny." She was done trying to control her temper. He was laughing at her. _Laughing_ at her misery.

"What's funny, is you thinking you can take on the Crows by yourself. Once you set foot in Antiva, your life will be over. The organization is embedded _everywhere_ in that country. There are Crows in the government, in the shops, walking the streets, hiding in dark corners. You won't be able to escape them. Every single one of them will have a description of you and will kill you at the first available opportunity. Its impossible to spend _five minutes_ there without running into a Crow."

"I can fight them." Her face was still just inches away from his.

Alistair pushed his face closer so that their noses were almost touching, "Not. Alone."

Kailyn pulled her face back and calmed down enough to sit next to him on her bed. "Well, since you are so insistent on my not doing this alone, would you care to make a suggestion as to how I can remedy this problem?"

"You will need your brother."

"No. He should stay with mother and father. He can protect them better than I can." Her head had fallen so that her chin was resting on her chest. He couldn't know how insecure Kailyn felt when it came to protecting her parents. Her father never once told her she was skilled. He just kept teaching her what he knew. For all she knew, her skills were comparable to a drunken mabari fighting an ogre.

"Oh no. You can't sit here and yell at me for not granting you the satisfaction of killing the man that slaughtered the Gourns and then not grant your brother that same satisfaction."

He could tell his attempt at humor fell on deaf ears. His hand rose up and he gently placed it on her back in an attempt to comfort her.

She seemed to have suddenly lost the fight that was in her. "Oh? I've won this argument already? I suppose marriage will be a breeze if I win arguments _this_ easily," he said lightly.

The young Cousland looked up at her King with tears in her eyes, tracks already running down her face. Her cheeks were red and puffy. He noticed that her shiny, emerald green eyes were back; but they too were swollen from tears.

Without thinking he grabbed her and pulled her close. He crushed her against him as if his life depended on it. Lucky for her, he had changed out of his ceremonial armor. His right hand found the back of her head. He mumbled over and over in her ear, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," rocking her back and forth.

After thinking a moment, Alistair gently pushed her back and looked in her face. He found only a blank face staring back at him. No emotion, no tears, just…nothing. The king lifted his finger and brushed her cheek, smiling weakly. "Let me go with you."

She moved for the first time in what seemed like hours. Without moving her head, her eyes found his. She just stared at him like this for a few minutes as if trying to find an answer to an unknown question.

She turned her head away all too soon. It left Alistair feeling strangely empty. "You can't."

He scoffed at her reply. "I am the King of Ferelden and as such I can do _whatever_ I want."

Looking back at him, Alistair could swear he saw one side of her mouth curl in response to his remark.

She turned to face him completely, pulling her legs up onto the bed and folding them in front of her. Gingerly, she wrapped her hands around his wrists in attempt to reiterate what she was going to say. "No you can't."

She didn't mean to goad him with what she said, but it certainly worked.

He rolled his forearm out of her grasp and roughly encircled _her_ wrists in his hands. "Yes. I. Can."

She didn't move.

"I've never been to Antiva and I can make it look like it's a business trip. You know, political stuff. I can claim to negotiate trade agreements with the Queen. Everyone knows Ferelden can use all the coin we can get."

Kailyn visibly relaxed, letting her posture fall. She was suddenly very aware that her skin was on fire underneath his touch. Not wanting the moment to end, she said, "You're amazing, you know that?"

He smiled. "I've been told once or twice."

A sudden knock at the door brought Kailyn out of her trance in which Alistair seemed to place her. Both blushing, he let her out of his grasp and she jumped up to see who was checking on her.

Before she even had a chance to open it all the way, Fergus pushed in. "I came to see if you needed-"

"Oh." Fergus said when he saw the King sitting on her bed.

"I'm…sorry?" Fergus stated without knowing what else to say. "I can come back later-"

Alistair cut him off, "No. No, its alright. We had just finished talking," he cleared his throat out of nervousness and quickly stood up realizing how the situation must look. "But, uh, anyway. I'm glad I have you both together. I just finished briefing your sister on Howe."

Kailyn had gone back to packing trying not to think about how her wrists were still warm. She listened as he briefed Fergus on what he had just told her.

"I should go too," the older Cousland added once Alistair had finished talking.

Kailyn suddenly looked up at the King pleading with her eyes to come up with an excuse as to why he can't go.

He sighed, "I think you should stay here, Fergus. Someone needs to stay with your family because they may be a target as well."

"I don't mean to offend, your Majesty, but couldn't you send a small group of your guard to stay with my family? Surely between the men of the King's guard and the men of our guard my family will be well protected."

The King glanced over at Kailyn who had a pained look on her face. She was fiercely shaking her head 'no.'

"Your Majesty?" Fergus asked.

"As much as it pains me to say so, I'm afraid I can't spare any of my men at this time. So many were lost in the battle with the arch demon. I think it would be best if you stayed."

The older Cousland hung his head in defeat. "If you insist." He walked over to his sister and hugged her. "I will tell mother and father what they need to know. They aren't going to be happy about you going but hopefully they will be a little grateful to have one of their children staying. You know I will protect them, Rayne and Riley with my life."

"Thank you, Fergus. I will come back with Renden Howe's head on a silver platter. I promise."

He smiled, "I certainly hope so. Don't take too long, okay?"

She nodded and watched her brother leave the room.

"You owe me."

Kailyn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

They both laughed.

"So when do you think we'll be able to leave?"

"Well, Zevran is coming with us and I pretty sure Valorn is too. We should wait until they arrive. I also have to come up with a story to tell Eamon. He certainly won't approve of this little adventure," he said making a face.

She couldn't help but giggle. "You don't like him much do you?"

"As far as I'm concerned, he can move his happy arse back to Redcliffe and stick his nose in _their_ business again. I'd rather have Teagan with me anyway."

"What was it you were telling me earlier? 'You are the King of Ferelden and as such you can do _whatever_ you want'?" she teased. "Make it so. Teagan can be your regent and Eamon can go back to being the Arl. It's in the best interest of the country for the King to get along with his highest appointed advisor. Teagan was raised as a noble so he should be able to guide you just as well as his brother."

"I need a reason to put aside Eamon. He's too loved by the people for them to just 'accept' that I don't like him."

"Teagan is loved just as much, right? He's a Guerrin too. It shouldn't make a difference to the people. If they push, just tell them that Eamon made a better arl than Teagan. I'm sure you could talk Teagan into going along with the story. No one will question the word of the king and his regent."

Alistair was baffled. Why hadn't he thought of this before? "Do you really think it will work?"

Kailyn just smiled. "It will if you _make_ it work. You have to know where to position people. Good things just don't _happen_, Alistair. Just because you're king doesn't mean you can sit on your royal arse the whole time."

He huffed. "Well, why not?"

"Because if that's how it worked, it wouldn't matter who sits on the throne, would it?"

"You're too good at this. Let me get to Eamon before he sends out a search party. I'll let you know when I get word from Zevran."

And with that, the King left her room. She knew that Fergus wouldn't let her parents see her before they left. She was grateful. It was hard enough convincing her brother that this was the right course of action; she couldn't imagine convincing her parents.

Now that she was alone in her room, Kailyn realized how tired she was. _"I'm so tired of being…tired."_ She thought to herself. Her body was still healing; but she was just…over it. More than ready to get back to sparring, she told herself that it was good for her to rest. The sun had just barely started to set. It was an early night for her. She walked over to her bed and threw the clothes that littered it into the floor. When her parents came, they had brought her some clothes for familiarity. Her hand accidentally brushed the place that Alistair had been sitting. It was still warm. Her stomach twisted.

She laid down and threw the covers over herself.

It was wrong for her to feel this way so soon after…

It was especially wrong for her to have feelings for her King. She barely knew him! He had saved her life; and maybe that's where her feelings stemmed from. Utterly confused, she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

In the Fade

_She was in her home, standing in the sparring ring. She had just finished for the day and was hanging her sheathed sword in its place. The scent of freshly baked cinnamon buns wafted to her nose. She inhaled deeply to take in the scent. Her favorite pastry._

_She turned around and was in the dining room; her leather armor replaced with a cotton dress. On the table was a plate with two steaming cinnamon buns on it. She sat down in the seat in front of the plate. A second plate appeared on the table across from her. A cinnamon bun had appeared on it followed by a person sitting in the chair. She looked up and knew that she was supposed to recognize who it was. The presence was so familiar. The figure was blurry and she couldn't make out the face._

_As she sat staring at the person across from her a wave of comfort floated over her. She felt light as a feather; like she could fly. She floated above the table. It felt so good to let go of the things that weighed her down. _

_Guilt crept up on her though. Something inside her head was telling her that she had responsibilities. It was telling her that just letting go wasn't the answer even though it's what she wanted to do. A feeling of despair and desperation washed over her next and she sank back down into her chair. The only thing remaining of her cinnamon buns were just a few tiny crumbs. The figure sitting across from her morphed into a clear version of Alistair. Kailyn knew she should probably be confused, but it felt perfectly normal. He reached out for her and she offered him her hand. He grasped her hand in his own and lifted his plate offering to give her his pastry._

_After he offered his food to her, she suddenly felt very uncomfortable. _"I don't need him to feed me. I can take care of myself."_ she thought. The dream Alistair seemed to read her thoughts. He put down his plate and grabbed her other hand. Wordlessly, he was telling her that it was okay. She would be alright. Pleading with her to let him help. "Even the strongest person needs help," he said aloud._

_He dissipated as quickly as he had appeared. The table and her environment was gone too. She was standing in nothingness. She was everywhere and nowhere at once. The faces of people she knew were flashing in front of her. Her mother, then her father, Fergus, Arianne, Nathaniel, Alistair. They were speeding up now. The faces were becoming nameless. People she had seen in the market, at parties, passersby. Then the last face appeared. It didn't go away as quickly as the others. This face stared at her, bore into her soul. She knew who it was. _"Aiden."_ She began to cry at the sound of her own voice saying his name. _"I'm so sorry. I've let you down. I don't know how you can ever forgive me. I'm not the woman you thought I was."

_A hand snatched her away from the face staring at her. A hand she knew. Nathaniel stood in front of her. He told her so many things without ever speaking. He told her that he would always be there for her, he didn't mean the things he had said. He told her that even though his feelings for her will never be reciprocated he would do whatever she asked of him. _

_Then he started apologizing for the things he would do in the future. "It doesn't matter, Nate" she screamed in her head. His voice pushed hers away, demanding that he was heard. Nathaniel was telling her that he was going to do some things he knew she wouldn't agree with. He told her that he would probably never see her again. He was apologizing over and over to her. Kailyn didn't even know about the things he was apologizing for. It was insistent in her head. He was desperate for her to hear his apologies._

_Her head was full with so many things and just when she felt her brain would explode, she woke up._


End file.
